Iron Man: Animated Armored Adventures in Armor that are Adventurous

Ol' Tony Stark has been rebooted and re-labeled a lot, recently. Obviously, the most successful was the 2008 big-screen movie, but we've also had re-boots in the comic books and the 2007 Direct-to-DVD animated release.

So now Nickleodeon has launched "Iron Man: Armored Adventures". Done in the computer-animated style of MTV's ill-fated "Spider-Man" cartoon, it recasts Tony Stark as a 16 year old wiz kid. James Rhodes, Obadiah Stane and Pepper Potts are all along, as well. Following in the tradition of Stupid Marvel Super-Hero Theme Songs, this new show has its own entry.

For a "kids' show", some of the themes are pretty dramatic. Example: in the first episode Howard Stark dies in a weird plane crash and Tony soon has his familiar electrically-powered heart battery.

But it seems more than a little tough to stomach Tony Stark as a 16 year old (recall "Avengers: Timeslide" and the 1995 Kang/Iron Man/Mantis quagmire). Some Marvel heroes can be re-worked as teens, but Iron Man works best as an adult in his 30's (at least). Batman is the same. Besides, it gives something us old codgers can relate to. After all, we're the ones with disposable income who are buying the eventual DVD sets and other junk (although fathers say they're buying it "for their son").

Anyways, "Iron Man: Armored Adventures" runs on ...umm..I think it's Nickolodeon (might be "NickToons") on primetime Friday nights. Episodes are being added to Comcast's "onDemand" feature, as well.

Comics (in)Fest

Denver had an event called "ComicsFest", last weekend and it was a little bit of a disappointment. Located across the street from a concurrent Sci-Fi fest, it was basically some vendors and a few c-level "creators". I steered clear of the Sci-Fi fest, but of course a few of them wandered over (even some dork in a Klingon costume).

"ComicsFest" was set in a room about the size of the average garage, with room for one person to walk down each aisle. It was very hard to look through each vendor's comics. Especially when everyone was wearing a winter parka..and some with giant backpacks. I sorta' felt like I was suffocating.

Outside the room, they had the "creators" crammed in a hallway. Again, ONE person could pass through. The only name I recognized was Mike Baron, and he was selling autographed trade paperbacks of his stuff. A buncha' zombie and vampire artists, too. Including some chick who was the "star" of a direct-to-DVD feature called "Zombiez in my Colon" or some crap. Uh huh...I'm sure her clothes stay on through the entire film.

The admittance fee was WAY overpriced and the staff was worthless. I was stupid and actually asked to pay for an admittance wristband. Nobody checked wristbands and I could've walked right in and saved myself ten bucks. The guy who took my money was all sorts of stupid. He didn't explain what I was paying for, I had to ask him for the freebies (all of TWO folded/stapled pamphlets), where the main room was, and if I could have a bag.

I spent 17 bucks and got 48 comics. Mostly the random cheesy junk that I like. Although I went to one dork and sifted through his 50 cent box... I picked up a recent "justice league of america" so I could have some more hate-fodder. The guy immediately jumped on me and said "If you want an autographed version of that, we've got one! Cuz' we MET Brad Meltzer!!!" The man had waited his whole life to brag about that worthless fact.

BFD...I've met Sgt. Slaughter, ya' schmuck. I don't get the whole fanboy "We've got autographed comics" deal. I mean, if I have an issue of Amazing Spider-Man, I want it autographed by Spider-Man. Since that's impossible, I don't want my comic signed by someone who is NOT Spider-Man. That's like getting the production man at Topps Baseball to sign an Albert Pujols baseball card. Although my buddy and I did find a Superman book that was "autographed" by Clark Kent.

Better organization and a larger venue and this "ComicFest" could be something worthwhile. All the money they spent on getting shitty vampire artists could've been applied to organization and a better facility. The fan-base is there, but the organizers are apparently uber-cheap and went with the cheapest ballroom they could score. On the positive side--at least it wasn't a Super 8. Not everybody can be San Diego Comic-Con, but even when that was starting out, it was located in a fairly sizable downtown hotel.

A primer on Triumph and Tomorrow Woman

A budyd emailed me asking about DC's Triumph and Tomorrow Woman, both of whom have apparently been featured in the current "Trinity" series. So, not one to waste a decent email, I thought I'd share with the class:

1-- Triumph was created around 1994 and he's sorta' like Marvel "Sentry". He was rectonned to be an early member of the JLA...but he was wiped out of existence and completely forgotten. He was "lost in time" or some weird crap. He came back in the mid-90's and was a good guy for a bit. He even joined the JL:America or Justice League Extreme. He disappeared from DC around 1996 due to Lack of Interest. He came back again in 1999/2000 in "JLA" and had been brainwashed by an evil imp (Q'xl or whatever..an old Aquaman villain, sorta' like Mxyptylk) to be a bad guy of sorts. But he ended up becoming good, again, but soon fell victim to Lack of Interest. He was also used, recently, in "Brave and the Bold" and had apparently had a son.

2-- Tomorrow Woman was created for a JLA one-shot, circa 1998 as a new member of the JLA. She became a member, but it turned out she was just a robotic spy from Professor Ivo and T.O. Morrow. But she rebelled against her programming and "died" a hero (sorta' like Wonder Man in "Avengers", way back in 1965).

Nightwing finally gets "killed"!

I haven't been paying much attention to DC lately, yet I wasn't surprised when I picked up Nightwing #153 in my hold box, last week, and saw the tagline: "FINAL ISSUE" on it. The book's been a downhill train without direction for the last 100 issues or so. I was always amazed that "Azrael" got to 100 and I'm disappointed that in 153 issues, "Nightwing" actually out-sucked "Azrael".

What started out as a satellite Bat-title soon became a completely unnecessary title, period. The first 24 issues or so set up Nightwing's Bludhaven as a Triple A Gotham City, yet not without it's own unique appeal. Writer Chuck Dixon established a quirky little corner for Nightwing; a character who had mooched off of others for almost 60 years (namely, Batman and the Teen Titans), finally had his own mythology and realm.

Nightwing was originally sent to Bludhaven to pursue remnants of Black Mask's "False Face Society", but soon ran into Electrocutioner, Two-Face, Scarecrow, Brutale, Lady Vic, Stallion and others. All capped off by the obligatory "master villain": Roland Desmond the Blockbuster. After being enhanced by DC's 1995 crossover "Underworld: Unleashed", Blockbuster had become a super-powered Kingpin of sorts. And it worked. Mix in the corrupt Bludhaven PD, including Dudley Soames and things got really interesting.

Soames soon became one of the most gruesome villains in comics history: "Torque"...basically a guy who had had his head twisted around 180 degrees...and survived! With his head screwed around, Torque was in the vein of guys like Two-Face. Soames eventually ran into "Nite-Wing", a violent, overzealous dorkbag who wanted to become a superhero.

That got us to issue 25 or so. It was around that time that Dixon ran out of ideas. Soames and Nite-Wing seemed to almost take over the title, with their constant inclusion. A short interlude involving the retconned villain Shrike (hey, now THERE'S a character DC seriously needs to work with) was the only reprieve. For well over 100 issues, "Nightwing" lingered.

Around issue 120 or so, DC wanted to kill off the character of Nightwing. But fans revolted and the execution was passed over. DC re-launched Nightwing two or three times since with new directions for the book. All of which stunk and made Archie Superhero Comics seem like works of art.

The latest was a hack named Peter Tomasi who included lame dialogue that seemed to be copied from Wikipedia. Such as a master villain explaining how a woman's uterus produces a baby (really). He also worked in some of the shittest one-liners since a Lorenzo Lamas movie. Example: a water tower ruptured, sending water spewing below. Nightwing's "witty" remark was: "I guess the Beach Boys are in town". Ugh. In a later issue, when Nightwing was fighting some of Ra's Al Ghul's flunkies, he drove over them with a Batmobile and said: "welcome to Bowling for Ninjas".

Beach Boys and Bowling for Dollars references. Pretty sure those haven't been relevant since the early 70's. Not to mention that they weren't funny then, either.

So now Nightwing (the title) is being axed. Frustrating because the character of Master Dick/Nightwing has been extremely popular among fans for decades. Yet nothing of substance occurred in 153 issues of his long-awaited title. Now the character is being shuffled off DC's current "Battle for the Cowl of Batman" stuff.

He's right back to where he started: mooching off of others.

"Youngblood" Set to Sell 8 Movie Tickets

Sad, but true... someone is looking at developing the 1992 pile known as "Youngblood" into a movie. Complete with shoulderpads, catcher's masks, poofy hair and tiny ankles:

Youngblood movie at Variety.com

What cracks me up is how the report calls it "an iconic graphic novel".

And I'll officially lose all hope for you guys if someone comments: "Yes! This will rule!!"

All Hope.

Mighty Avengers #17

This was an odd book. Turns out that the Skrulls have replaced Hank Pym twice, in recent years. The first (or latest?) Skrull Hank began to see flaws in the whole "Secret Invasion" plan and started to rebel against the whole thing. So the Skrull Dum Dum Dugan calls in a SHIELD beatdown on Skrull Hank. The ensuing fight is somewhat creative-- as Skrull Hank uses his shrinking and growing powers very well.

I'm not sure why they thought this story was necessary, though. We already had one "Hank gets replaced by a Skrull" story about two months ago. So another Skrull rebelled and was replaced? Okay...

Although it does clear up a scene from an early issue of "Mighty Avengers"; where "Hank" was boinking Tigra. To me, at the time, that seemed out-of-character for Hank. So I'm comforted to know that it wasn't the real Hank. Although we had a poster over on Da' Board, last year, who thought that a womanizing, "asshole Hank" was a great character. I really objected to that.

However...in the previous "Hank gets replaced by a Skrull" story, the real Hank WAS sleeping around with a young British woman. So I'm confused... why absolve Hank of one demerit, but keep the other? Just haphazard characterization and writing. Hank had a very well-handled descent into tragedy, circa 1982. Since then, he's been on the redemption trail. The Hank Pym in "Ultimates" was NOT the Marvel U Hank, and I think most fans (and personnel at Marvel) don't get that.

Comics: Best of the Box!

As I'm winding down E's GI Joe Comic Index and after another trip to the San Diego Comic-Con, I've come up with a new gimmick that should keep me entertained for the next year or so.

I was reading The Onion at lunch today and they ran a local article covering "6 Greatest Graphic Novels of All Time". The usual bullshit was included: "oh, Watchmen, Maus and R. Crumb are so great...yadda yadda... let's suck the respective shlong of these books for the 8 millionth time in creation". Usually I enjoy The Onion's occasional forays into comic books, but this was complete and utter CRAP. Have a fucking original thought.

Sure, I enjoyed Watchmen, but I have weird tastes. I like cheesy/shitty superhero fare by the Big Two. So how would I select MY personal faves from my collection of crap?

Well, it turns out that I've been re-locating all 33 of my longboxes this summer. Just moving them, temporarily, from my upstairs studio to the basement to avoid the summer heat. So why not go through each one and pick the BEST book of each longbox? My favorite, or the one book I would save, if I had to sell that specific box.

When I'm done, hopefully I'll have spotlighted 33 books that I actually ENJOY. Plus, it'll be a good step in possibly clearing out my memory banks and remembering some of the reasons why I read this type of junk.

I'm curious to see what my selections will be. Each "best of the box" pick will have some unique selection criteria, too. For instance, my "Avengers" collection spans two boxes-- with most of the Silver Age classics packed in one box. All 33 boxes are arranged in one gigantic alphabetical order, so there should be some interesting picks. For another instance, I know one "T" box is filed with about 200+ issues of 1950's "Tarzan" comics, plus other assorted non-noteworthy crap. I'm not sure what I'll pick from that box.

DWS Secret Invasion at San Diego Comic Con!

For the second year in a row, Da' Wrestling Site will be infiltrating the San Diego Comic Con. No booth or anything, but we will be passing out promotional postcards.

If you spot yours truly, feel free to walk up to me and receive your FREE Limited Edition CLAWHOLD, only available at Comic Con 2008! I'll be volunteering to work a three hour shift on Saturday, then attending like a regular schmoe on Sunday.

We're also attending the Padres/Diamondbacks game at PETCO Park on July 28. Same offer applies...but your FREE Clawhold will be somewhat less prestigious.

DC: more "continuity porn" (almost literally)

I've heard the term "continuity porn" attached to DC Comics' efforts of the last four years. With their revered attitude towards 1982's JLA, dusting off old villains, then connecting almost all of their superheroes into a goofy "club".

But today, I was asked if the newest "Titans" series is simply an excuse to display Starfire and her orange goods. Long a favorite subject of monkey-spanking fanboys (and even Ambush Bug, if you remember her swimsuit pic from 1985), she's been conveniently losing her clothes and appearing in suggestive poses over the past few years.

So in that regard: yes, the new "Titans" series IS another excuse for Starfire "fanboy porn" (with clothes). Similar effects are being done with Black Canary, Zatanna, Power Girl and Phantom Lady. The next issue of "Justice League of America" that does NOT feature a gratuitous buns n' fishnets shot of Black Canary will be the first. Zatanna used to be a second-rate female Dr. Strange, but now she appears showing off her gams every chance she gets. Even appearing with a slutty garter belt at times. It's like DC's artists are all 13 year old boys, who can't afford the courage or money to buy "real" porn...so they make this pseudo-porn of "crappy superheroine sexy poses".

But what do you expect from a company whose iconic female character has run around for the past 70 years in a swimsuit with red hooker boots and a weakness for bondage?

It gets worse in the fan atmosphere. Do a Google Image Search of any DC female character and within in the first page of results you'll see something x-rated. Even someone as obscure as Flamebird can be seen getting jizzed or showing off her snatch. Look...we all have the Internets and if we want to see nekkid chicks, there are better ways to do it. Seeing Granny Goodness spanking Supergirl is just sick. Some latenight fantasies should stay tucked into a fanboy's mind.

As bad as this is, we haven't hit rock bottom. Yet. That point will be reached when we find an X-rated image of Amanda Waller. That big, booty-licious black broad with the body that won't quit....mmmmm.....

38th Annual Black T-Shirt Convention (San Diego Comic Con)

I know...you've all been so damn concerned about where I've been (I know who all THREE of you are). From last Thursday to Monday I was out in California to see the San Diego Comic Con. I really hate using the term "Con" for anything, but it's a widely used term out there. Say "Comic Con" and all the locals know what you're talking about.

If you've been reading Da' Board, you might have read some of my ramblings. I threw some pictures and stuff up there, but here's some more for you lazy clickers:

--If you ever go to Comic Con, don't try to act "normal" or "cool". The Convention Center is about six square city blocks of geeks and all things geeky. Don't worry about being embarrassed by going. You're there. Enjoy it. I'm pretty sure that the shirtless scrawny guy dressed up like a video game character is feeling more vulnerable than you.

--It's the one weekend of the year where comic professionals get to feel like rockstars. Imagine the broads who leaked in their pants over the Beatles, circa 1962 and you'll get the vibe. I don't follow creators, just characters.... so the idea of waiting in line for an hour to get a shitty promo poster signed by the writer of Teen Titans didn't appeal to me.

--I got three custom sketches of Green Arrow by 3 different artists. Didn't wait more than 5 minutes for each. My first choice of subject was, obviously, Ace the Bat-Hound, the namesake of my pooch. But they all had no idea who I was talking about. So I went with GA....but they still weren't sure how to draw him. One guy (I think he was Rod Reis) seemed to have a real struggle with Green Arrow. So he drew a basic character head, scribbled a goatee and some backpack arrows on it. Weak. I haven't seriously attempted any figure or superhero drawing since about 1996, but watching them up-close inspired me a little bit.

--I was a little disappointed that most seminars/ presentations /dog n' pony shows would run small trailers for their movie. Stuff like that I could've waited to watch on YouTube in a week. Example: I was in line for Rob Zombie's new "Halloween" movie, but became bummed when it was just a trailer. Zombie himself came out and babbled for a little bit, afterwards. In that regard, it was kinda' cool to think "Hey, I just saw Rob Zombie pump up his new movie".

--However, I did manage to see full showings of the new "Doctor Strange" animated movie and the new "Bionic Woman" pilot. I enjoyed "Strange", but "Bionic Woman" was a little tough for me to digest. It's apparently done by the crew of the "Battlestar Galactica" remake and featured several cast members from that show. I don't know the actors' names, so I called them: "Chick Who Plays Starbuck", "Guy Who Plays Chief" and "Guy Who Plays Baltar's Lawyer". Whenever one would show up on screen, fans in the audience would immediately whooping and holler.

--Coincedentally, I saw "Guy Who Plays Chief" in some booth on the main floor. He was wearing an Anthrax "I am the Law" Judge Dredd shirt, so I thought I'd drop in and maybe get his autograph for my big bro. But...he would only sign autographs on crappy action figures being sold by that company. Oh well. Overall, the autograph thing was creepy. A lot of c-level "celebrities" selling stuff. I felt bad for some of them. Mostly Virgil (yes, THAT Virgil) and someone named Crystal Allen, who apparently played a Green Chick on a Star Trek episode. Marc Singer (Beastmaster) was there and he was hella' creepy.

--Best seminar I attended was "Quick Draw", hosted by Mark Evanier. It was a bit like "Whose Line is it Anyway" with three artists: Sergio Aragones (GROO), Scott Shaw (Capt. Carrot and POST cereal) and some other guy who I forget (stuff I forget). Evanier would present a question or gag and each of the artists would draw their answer to it, on a big screen. Funny stuff. Final gag was "smarter than George W. Bush". The other guys drew a dunce and Alfred E. Neuman. Sergio drew a simple two-celled amoeba. Anything Evanier hosts is worth checking out. He's very knowledgeable about pop culture and comics and is quite witty.

--If you do, don't expect to find good deals on comics. Last time I attended Comic Con was in 1995. It was about 85% comics. Now it's maybe 25% comics. You can still find dealers, but the majority of the crowd is there for the Hollywood, video game and TV stuff. Spike TV, Best Buy, Paramount, Capcom and Sony kinda' crowd out "Joe's Comic Barn". I bought maybe 8 comics, total.

--Nothing's really "free" anymore. At Marvel's booth, you had to fill out a survey, sign up for their mailing list and get your badge punched to receive ONE promo comic. I don't want to sound like an Old Man, but in '95 I could walk into any booth and come away with 10 free comics. This year, everybody was selling stuff. 25 bucks seemed to be the going rate for anything. Even promo posters were for sale, or else you'd get one free after a long wait in line. I get tons of free promo crap every week for all kinds of stuff (t-shirts, posters, hats, preview DVDs, you name it). So I guess I was numb at the chance to get some "free" advertising material.

-- Cool purchase: bought Usagi Yojimbo #1 from Stan Sakai himself, for the very reasonable price of five bucks. Also found Avengers #66 for the over-priced tag of 14 bucks. I took it over to Roy Thomas, who was signing stuff at the Alter Ego booth. Thomas seemed like he could ramble on all day about old comics. Good for him.

--LOTS of tourists go for the Hollywood stuff and to get free crap. That's good, since it spreads awareness of comic crap to the public.... but rather sad because nobody knows who Clint Barton or Piotr Rasputin are. They're there to see Gwyneth Paltrow or Robert Downey Jr (by the way, I was jazzed about Marvel Studios' "Iron Man" and "Incredible Hulk" preview session)

--You know what the best part was? The people. I'd be waiting for something and start talking to the people around me. Think of the "single serving friend" from Fight Club. Met all kinds of interesting peeps. Just bullshittin', cracking jokes and telling stories. I'm usually a rather shy guy, but the entire trip I was talking to everyone. I met a graphic designer from New Zealand, a psychic medium, an MST junkie from Minneapolis, a wrestling fan from LA...all sorts of people. When I think back on this trip, that's what I'll remember most.

--All in all, it's a good time to be a nerd.