Saturday, June 23, 2007

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Okay, so it's very easy to make fun of this movie. It's just not... what're the words?--very good.

This reminds me of the FOX Marvel TV movies that were around in the late 90's. Generation X, Nick Fury and whatever else they did. Felt more like an episode of a syndicated FF TV series than an actual movie.

Two things I found silly:

1-- in ALL movies, the alien invaders always make sure to fly past scenic landmarks of the world. Like, the pyramids, the Washington Monument or the Great Wall of China. So I guess all aliens are really tourists at heart. "Zeb, destroy the earth!" "Well, before we do, let's cruise by the scenic sights and snap a few pictures".

2-- This is scraping, sure. But it seems goofy to title it "RISE" of the Silver Surfer. He's flying in from outer space, so he's not really rising from anything. I imagine the marketing department sat around and that was the best they could come up with. I mean, "the Coming of the Silver Surfer" would've been closer to the comics, but you know that name wouldn't fly at all.

The FF, to me, have never been straight-up superheroes. They're more like "Lost in Space" or the 1970's "GI Joe Adventure Team". So alot of online fanboys are slamming this movie because it lacks depth, meaning, symbolism, etc. C'mon...it's the frickin' Fantastic Four, not Citizen Kane. The FF has always been stupid and this movie is, expectedly, stupid.

Minor spoilers: Galactus is never shown (a 30 foot tall purple n' pink Shogun Warrior wouldn't seem too menacing to the non-fanboy movie audiecne), Jessica Alba wears wayyy too much makeup and while Dr. Doom's characterization is correct (think: "If there is power to be had, DOOM must have it!!"), his personality is still goofy (example, he says: "oooh..that's nice" when testing out new powers). Johnny Storm seems to get alot of screentime and there's even a new version of Frankie Raye.

It's okay for 90 minutes...basically like watching a cartoon. Don't expect much and you'll be okay.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

TNT December 12, 1985

Tuesday Night Titans (TNT) is something I'd recap more often, if the show's formula wasn't always the same. But I liked last week's episode on WWE 24/7. Main reason: Magnificent Muraco.

He gets better everytime I see him. If he was around today, he'd be over, huge, me thinks.

I liked how he was introducing the cast of "Fuji Chan"...and completely skipped over and no-sold Mel Phillips, deliberately. Muraco had a great egotistical/arrogant slant to his character and his promos are usually decent.

Four matches are seeded throughout the talk show segments. Scott McGhee pins Les Thornton, Hercules Hernandez beats Mario Mancini, Magnificent Muraco pins a jobber in a JIP match, plus Fabulous Moolah (wrestling as "The Spider Lady") pins WWF Women's Champion, Wendi Richter to win the title. Controversial bout, as Richter's shoulders didn't appear to be down. Rumor is that the WWF screwed Richter out of the title, similar to the way they did with Bret Hart in 1997. Richter's post-match antics add to this: she tries to "attack" Moolah, but Moolah suddenly begins no-selling and walks away. Richter then acts all pissy and tries to grab the belt back from the ref and Moolah.

The Herc match may have been one of his first TV appearances in the WWF. His in-studio segment is kinda' sloppy. Fred Blassie accompanies him as his manager and does most of the talking. Blassie calls Herc a "Latin" and goes into a rambling mode about how he discovered him in Mexico, beating up people. Vince and Herc both seem to be cracking up while Blassie is ranting. Blassie didn't have the funny zingers like Bobby Heenan did, but his delivery always came off as humorous.

Oh yeah, was there some connection between Moolah and Fred Blassie? They always seem super-friendly with each other whenever they're on-screen. In this show, Blassie plants a big smooch on Moolah, then has his arm around her while they're sitting on the TNT couch for the rest of the show. It's prefectly understandable that they'd be good platonic buddies.. but did they ever get it on, back in the day?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Lick my StubHub

I have to wonder: does anybody actually buy tickets from StubHub?

Their Google ads are all over the place, but if you actually visit the site, the prices are insane. We're talking 55 bucks for a Kansas City Royals game in mid-August. Their business model is sorta' like "eBay for sports tickets", allowing regular schmoes to post tickets for sale. But I've never seen prices below face value there. eBay's become synonymous for finding neat crap for cheap. StubHub looks like its target market is the CEO who drops a couple grand on sports tickets to schmooze someone.

Look, your Royals, Grand Rapids Rampage or even Dodgers tickets are not Hot Commodities. Unless you have tickets to some sort of championship game (and one that doesn't involve the Cleveland Cavaliers), your tickets-- probably not worth much.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Karaoke Kurse

Ever since I moved in September '05, I've had trouble finding a good neighborhood bar. My old 'hood sucked and was full of drive-bys and murders, but at least I had a good bar out there. Within walking distance, decent prices, hot female bartenders, trivia on Saturday nights, big enough to seat about 300 people and the DJ would play Clutch when he saw me.

Over here, it's a nicer 'hood, but the bars absolutely suck. Main reason: every bar around here has fucking KARAOKE about every night. In my quest to find a new bar, I tried another a new one on Saturday. Guess what, it was Karaoke night....again. This was probably the bottom of the barrel for me, since the bar wasn't within walking distance, had dumpy/skanky bartenders and was full of people in their 40's and 50's.

Now, I can't sing due to this Old Football Injury, but you haven't really reached hell until you've heard some vocally challenged douche sing "Your Momma Don't Dance" while you drink watered down Bud Light. "Highlight" of the night was some Mario-lookin' muthafucker singing "Careefree Highway" by Gordon Lightfoot.

Next time I feel the need to go out and drink on a Saturday, I'm taking the risk by driving across town to my old bar. It takes awhile to get to it and I might get shot... but at least there's no Karaoke.

Friday, June 1, 2007

ATM fight

Almost got in a fight at the ATM today. I'm sitting there for a few minutes, in the empty hallway, filling out my deposit envelopes and endorsing checks on the table right next to the ATM. Nobody has walked past me for the entire time. Then, when I'm ready to use the ATM, some douche pops out of nowhere and is SURPRISED that I'm going to use the ATM.

"Oh..you're going to use this?! pfft"

I said: "yeah...sorry. Think I beat ya' by a few seconds" as I open my wallet and take my ATM card out.

He says: "I don't know if you did! Yuk yuk!"

My Asshole Alarm goes off and I cock my head to one side. I step back, right as I'm about to insert my card, I pack up my wallet, and say "ya' know what..." . He gets all nervous and says "I was just giving you a hard time, heh heh". I say "it's yours" and leave.

That was my passive aggressive moment for the day.