It's impossible to go a day without hearing some news-douche complain about "rising costs at the gas pumps". Or how the terrible reality of paying 30 bucks more a month has led...gasp....a family to clip coupons and buy generic milk!!
I'm actually hopeful for the rising gas costs. Simply because I want people off my fucking roads. Can't afford gas? Great... keep your frugal ass at home. You'll not only cut down on harmful emissions and save money, but you'll decrease the area's DoucheBag Quotient for the day.
Less traffic and gridlock will also lead to more effective gas mileage for every vehicle on the road. For example: with 1,000 less minivans and Chevy Tahoes on the road, that grocery delivery truck won't have to sit idling at each intersection and will make his delivery in a timely manner.
About 15 years ago, when I was in college and thought that I had half a brain, I came up with a plan to cut back on metro traffic. Everyday, it would take me up to 75 minutes to drive a measly 15 miles. Forget about getting anywhere on time between 7 to 9am or 4 to 7pm, because it wasn't happening.
Local authorities called for widening of highways and more mass transit... two lame brain plans, because one added more cars on the highway, and the second added more slower, ineffective vehicles (busses) clogging them more frequently. Have you ever had a bus pass you on the left? No, since they're usually backing up traffic in the right lanes.
So my revolutionary plan was to charge every licensed driver $800-1000 more per year, as a "drivers' fee". Sure, stuff like "car insurance" and "vehicle registration" could be considered that, but I wanted an additional fee on top of all of that shit. Like proof of registration, it could be displayed as a shiny dated sticker placed on your license plate. My belief was that some dipshit would want to save 800-1,000 bucks and would refuse to drive for the entire calendar year. One less ding dong on the road is always a good thing.
Now, with gas prices creeping up, it seems that my annual fee has arrived in a different form. Sure, I don't like paying more, but it beats the alternative (staying home all the time, starving, getting no nookie, having no job, etc).
But nobody's taking the cheap way out. I'm seeing more traffic, every single day. It's taking longer to drive those same 15 miles. Nobody's making an effort to avoid these supposedly awful gas prices. Pay 'em, keep going, sit in traffic and WHINE. Nothing short of Lord Humongous and his Wasteland Raiders will keep morons off the road.
So please, stay home if gas prices bother you. Give me 7 bucks a gallon and I'll take it. As long as it keeps SOMEONE at home. Like a wise, hockey-mask, S&M-wearing, freak once said: "just walk away...and this will all be over..."
The problem isn't high gas prices. It's whiny douchebags and morons. Again.
