Blowjobs! They're in the fucking Bible!

TIME magazine has a feature story this week that sounds like something George Carlin could've had fun with. Basically, some preacher (from the Bible belt of Memphis, no less) is saying that it's okay to have sex, lots of sex. No shit. They even cite a specific passage as a call for blowjobs:

From TIME Magazine

Genesis, chapter 2 verse 24, says a man "shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." But how liberally to define cleave? That was the very special Bible query the Rev. Stacy Spencer and his wife Rhonda took up last month with 252 married people at their New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tenn. And the Spencers' answer was ... encouraging. Does frequent sex have a place in marriage? Yep. Oral sex? Read the Song of Solomon 2: 3 for assurance. How about role-playing? One participant expressed a yearning to see her husband dressed as a police officer. The Good Book offers no specifics on that, so Stacy Spencer allowed that it was up to the woman, "as long as you're not lusting after a particular officer. Jesus talked about spiritual adultery, and that could be spiritual adultery. But if it's just a generic cop, go for it."

So no role-playing mentioned in the good book, but I've heard that beastiality is in there, somewhere.

I could hear the late, great George Carlin having some fun with this. Sex and religion seemed to be favorite sources of humor for him. I can visualize him on stage, saying "Howabout those blow-jobs?! Hey, they're in the fucking Bible!"

DC: more "continuity porn" (almost literally)

I've heard the term "continuity porn" attached to DC Comics' efforts of the last four years. With their revered attitude towards 1982's JLA, dusting off old villains, then connecting almost all of their superheroes into a goofy "club".

But today, I was asked if the newest "Titans" series is simply an excuse to display Starfire and her orange goods. Long a favorite subject of monkey-spanking fanboys (and even Ambush Bug, if you remember her swimsuit pic from 1985), she's been conveniently losing her clothes and appearing in suggestive poses over the past few years.

So in that regard: yes, the new "Titans" series IS another excuse for Starfire "fanboy porn" (with clothes). Similar effects are being done with Black Canary, Zatanna, Power Girl and Phantom Lady. The next issue of "Justice League of America" that does NOT feature a gratuitous buns n' fishnets shot of Black Canary will be the first. Zatanna used to be a second-rate female Dr. Strange, but now she appears showing off her gams every chance she gets. Even appearing with a slutty garter belt at times. It's like DC's artists are all 13 year old boys, who can't afford the courage or money to buy "real" porn...so they make this pseudo-porn of "crappy superheroine sexy poses".

But what do you expect from a company whose iconic female character has run around for the past 70 years in a swimsuit with red hooker boots and a weakness for bondage?

It gets worse in the fan atmosphere. Do a Google Image Search of any DC female character and within in the first page of results you'll see something x-rated. Even someone as obscure as Flamebird can be seen getting jizzed or showing off her snatch. Look...we all have the Internets and if we want to see nekkid chicks, there are better ways to do it. Seeing Granny Goodness spanking Supergirl is just sick. Some latenight fantasies should stay tucked into a fanboy's mind.

As bad as this is, we haven't hit rock bottom. Yet. That point will be reached when we find an X-rated image of Amanda Waller. That big, booty-licious black broad with the body that won't quit....mmmmm.....