Evil Airport!!

Westword, the local "alternative press" freebie rag published an interesting read on Denver International Airport. Here's the link, but I'm not sure how long it'll be archived on the site.

Basically, the story talks about all the weird conspiracies theories that have sprung up since DIA was opened in 1995. Symbolism from the Freemasons and weird murals that warn of an upcoming collapse in civilization. The airport is said to have a cavernous basement that will be the center of the New World Order (not Hogan, Hall and Nash). Some even insist that reptilian aliens live under the airport. Aliens who have their insidious talons in every level of Western government. The story also mentions one conspiracy theorist who tied the airport to the Denver Broncos (no exact citation of this theory, but there's my GoogleQuest for the week).

Great stuff. If Denver really is slated to be the center of the world, then I suppose my property value will increase dramatically (for those arriving late: I live just south of Denver). Too bad it's all a buncha' BS.

I've been to the airport countless times and while its giant canopy and removed location are weird, its ubiquitous theories are based on the sheer oddity of everything. Especially the art in the baggage terminals. It was a joke when I was going through art school in downtown Denver: how the city dished out grants to random artists. Artists who developed their works independently. When it all came together and the "art" was installed in the terminals, it looked disjointed and haphazard. This led many to believe that there HAD to be a theme to all this random weirdness.

Stuff like stone gargoyles sitting in open luggage, or an 18 foot mural of distorted "multicultural" kids looking over a big leafy thing. It's really just crappy art.

The subterranean commuter trains of DIA were a shock to many. I was freaked out when I found out I couldn't walk to the outer concourses, I had to go to the basement and take a train. A train that played goofy flute music to announce arrivals and departures. Inside the tunnels were weird "wind art" sculptures that would twinkle or twirl as the train went by. Add that on top of the unconventional canvas terminal, the removed location from Denver and the countless delays in the airport's opening, and people were just freaked out to be at DIA. The airport's opening was delayed by roughly two years and way over budget. So people figured all that money had to go somewhere---why not an underground complex to house aliens?

I really wish some of the theories were true. It'd make driving 40 miles out of my way to catch a flight seem like an adventure. Instead it's an inconvenient sojourn just short of the Kansas border.