Visit (the Walgreens in) Denver

On the way to lunch today I was once again reminded of something that needs to be any Denver Tourism Brochure-- the Walgreens at 16th St. and Stout. Sure, it smells like ass, the aisles are crowded and you shouldn't be caught dead buying any of their snack food... but it is the unprecedented Top Spot for People Watching. I'm surprised it wasn't highlighted with all the DNC propaganda that flooded the city, last month.

I can't do it justice in print/blog... so just trust me on this. If you ever visit Denver make about 15 minutes to stand outside this Walgreens on a weekday. I guarantee you''ll find something to snap a cellphone pic of. It might be the 45 year old "punk" dressed in a heavy leather jacket on a 92 degree day, the enterprising bum selling free papers "to help the homeless", or the annoying turd playing the flute while Lynyrd Skynyrd tunes blast on his boombox...but you'll find something.

Delete After Posting

Caught the new Coen Brothers flick, "Burn After Reading", last night. First off, this is not a drop-down, pants-pissing, snort-enducing comedy. While it is silly, most of the laughs come from the quirky mannerisms and antics of the characters. Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt are clueless health club workers who completely flub over a blackmail plot based around what they believe is "important shit". George Clooney is a goofy government worker who likes to wear his pants high and run through the city. John Malkovich is a recently laid-off CIA guy, looking for some purpose in his life while constantly dropping f-bombs.

But inside the story is a melancholy look at the middle-aged years of life. How the paranoia, obsession and fear over becoming old can drive someone to act strangely. Even incredibly stupid. That seemed to be the recurring theme and can help you dissect each character's motive throughout the flick.

Sure, there are some hilarious parts-- like when Brad Pitt and McDormand first reach out, via phone, to Malkovich's character-- but if you're looking for a comedy, you might be better off with something like "Pineapple Express".

Prime Time Wrestling - 09/01/91

Caught this on WWE 24/7, last night and didn't feel it was worth an actual article. The date on this is up for debate, but for all intents and purposes, this was the first PTW after SummerSlam'91. At this time, Prime Time was had a live audience and studio guests--- it was sort of like a combo of "TNT" and "Superstars of Wrestling".

The broadcast started out with Bobby Heenan frantically running through the production booth, making sure everything was in order for the arrival of "The Real World's Champion, Ric Flair". Heenan got off a buncha' one-liner insults, as he slammed random members of the crew. "Nice hat... pull it down over your face!"

The studio host was Sean Mooney and surprisingly enough, he was quite adept at moving the show along, making relevant statement and playing off of both Heenan and the crowd well. Completely different from the robotic announcing he did in the "Events Center", or while announcing a match with Lord Alfred Hayes. He had about a two months run as host of the show and it was probably his best work in the WWF.

Matches included:
-"The Dragon" (Ricky Steamboat) vs. Colonel Mustafa
Decent little match that I recapped a few years ago. Dragon won with the high-cross body.

-Bushwhackers vs. Duane Gil & Barry Hardy
Guess who won?! From "Superstars". The Beverly Brothers cut an inset promo and introduced the Genius (Lanny Poffo) as their new manager.

-Hercules (w/Slick) vs. Phil Apollo
Return to singles competition for Herc, as he easily won with the backbreaker. I don't think "Power & Glory" appeared, as a team, on the nationwide WWF shows after SummerSlam '91

-Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Another ring return, as Anvil had walked out of the "Wrestling Challenge" broadcast team. Nothing heel-ish...he left because he knew he'd lose his temper and deck the Brain if he stuck around. Real reason: Anvil on the stick STUNK. Anyways, quick match as he wins with a powerslam.

-Big Bully Busick (w/Harvey Whippleman) vs. Jim Powers
Before the match, Busick harassed the ring attendant and pulled his tie off. Oh, I see...he's a BULLY! They had a little gimmick where Busick was the muscle who would push guys around, so the wimpy Whippleman could make fun of them. Like the nerdy kid who gets a dumb jock or ruffian to be his psuedo "bodyguard". The role was a bit goofy, but worked well for both of these clowns. Busick won with his stump-puller submission. Powers was still coming to the ring with his OLD "Crank it Up" theme music.

-IRS vs. "Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich
Not a bad match, as Irwin could work when he wanted to. There's an MSG show from October 1991 on WWE 24/7 right now which features a pretty damn good match between Irwin and the British Bulldog. This match isn't as good, obviously, and features a lame DQ win for the Tornado, when IRS grabs the ref.

-Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka vs. (Pat) Tanaka (w/Mr.Fuji)
Joined in progress, as it was mostly punchy-kicky. Snuka won cleanly with the Superfly Splash. Nice to see Snuka got a win of some substance in 1991. Even if Tanaka was a nose-hair above jobber at this point.

-Warlord (w/Slick) vs. Mark Thomas
Another squash from "Superstars". I wonder if this Mark Thomas was the guy Rowe referred to as "Art Thomas" in his latest 1993 RAW recap? Had an in-match promo, as Warlord and Slick talked about challenging Bret Hart for the IC belt. I don't think they ever followed up on that program, as Bret soon went into a feud with Da' Mountie.

They also showed two brief clips of the SummerSlam 6-man tag (Bulldog, Dragon & Tornado vs. Orient Express & Warlord), plus the ending of the IC title match between Mr. Perfect & Bret Hart. Both were just ways to promote the Coliseum Video release. Can't forget the spots promoting the Hulk Hogan Hotline, either.

In-studio guest were the Undertaker & Paul Bearer, Ric Flair and the Legion of Doom. Paul Bearer showed off "photographs" of Elizabeth screaming at her wedding reception. They also set up a dual feud of Randy Savage vs. Jake Roberts and Undertaker vs. Sid Justice. The first worked, the other never got off the ground.

The Ric Flair segment was pretty good for historical significance. At the time, it was very surreal to see Flair in the WWF with the belt, finally challenging Hogan. In fact, all of the live guests were former NWA guys (okay, so Percy Pringle was World Class).

The LOD promo was a gas, as both were decked out in Zubaz! Alfred Hayes offered congratulations from the Queen of England on winning thge tag team straps. To which Hawk replied: "well, if the Queen were here right now, both Animal and myself would give her a big hug...followed by a nice, juicy, big kiss....... just like we did before!" Only Hawk can make smooching that old bag sound cool.

One Phone call, two free nights...and a lifetime of annoyance.

With the weather finally cooling down and the cops putting the heat on the irresponsible owner of the barking dog that lives behind my house, I had a good night's sleep on Friday. Like a log...for almost 10 hours. But I was awoken on Saturday morning by my old buddies: Superior Tour and Travel.

For the past three years, I've been getting phonecalls from them every so often, telling me I've won a "free trip". They called me last November and I bitched their asses out over the frequent calls. I told them to remove my contact info, talked to a "manager", told them I wasn't interested in their "free trip" and all that. I thought that was the end of it... until they called Saturday morning with the same fucking spiel they always gave me. (And before you tell me: yes, I'm on the national and statewide No Call List).

It all started back on the first day I moved into my house, in September 2005. I got a call from a vacuum sales company, asking to come by for a free demo. As a result of their demo, I would receive a "free vacation". So the vacuum clown came over, I told him to take off...but I got my "free vacation" certificate. I figured I had already gone through a sales pitch, so I was home free and could enjoy my "free vacation" in the near future. I thought THAT was the end of it.

I called to schedule it and arranged things for a stayover in Ft. Lauderdale in March 2006. It was really just two nights in some resort, but it helped me out on my annual GrapeFruit League Sojourn. But when I got down there, I was told I had to sit through a 4 hour sales pitch on buying a vacation home package. Oh shit.

Sat through the presentation-- which was more of a tour and not as painful as it sounded-- but I wasn't interested in the vacation scam and told them "no thanks". So I went about the rest of my trip and thought THAT was the end of it.

But then the calls from Superior Travel started coming. They said I had filled out an entry form during my time at the resort in Ft. Lauderdale and that I had "won a free vacation". The first time they called, I was suspicious, but decided to hear them out. Can't remember the details, but it involved putting out 500 bucks upfront, then getting a portion of it refunded after I had taken my "free vacation". I told them it was bullshit and said I would pass.

But the calls persisted. I can't tell you how many times I had been "selected at random" and "won" a "free vacation". Must've been a pretty small entry pool if I was winning every six weeks!

So after Saturday's call, I bitched them out AGAIN. This time I got a name and the company's address. These fuckers will not leave me alone. Like the person you once gave your number to, at a bar. You didn't care for the person, but they still have your number and keep calling you. For almost 3 years. If Superior Tour and Travel were a person, I'd file harassment charges.

I hope THIS is the end of it and I can get back to 8 hours of sleep on Friday nights.

Chop-block on Gmail

On the random chance that someone's reading Da' Site and thinking about registering over on Da' Board...let's hope you're not using a GMail account as your email address.

Due to spammers, we require authentication on all new accounts registered. But in the last few months, we've been getting roughly 20-25 spam accounts with Gmail accounts, per DAY. Makes it a hassle when I log-in to check for new users and I see 139 Gmail spam accounts awaiting validation. Makes it tough to spot any new members who actually want to join and participate.

So I'm going to have to block all new registrations from Gmail accounts. If Gmail/Google improves their service and makes an official announcement, then they'll return. But for now, no Gmail. I don't think anybody on Da' Board has ever used a Gmail account as their primary email, anyways. If you have no other way BUT Gmail for your email....well, I can think of roughly 18 other ways to contact us outside of Da' Board.

Mighty Avengers #17

This was an odd book. Turns out that the Skrulls have replaced Hank Pym twice, in recent years. The first (or latest?) Skrull Hank began to see flaws in the whole "Secret Invasion" plan and started to rebel against the whole thing. So the Skrull Dum Dum Dugan calls in a SHIELD beatdown on Skrull Hank. The ensuing fight is somewhat creative-- as Skrull Hank uses his shrinking and growing powers very well.

I'm not sure why they thought this story was necessary, though. We already had one "Hank gets replaced by a Skrull" story about two months ago. So another Skrull rebelled and was replaced? Okay...

Although it does clear up a scene from an early issue of "Mighty Avengers"; where "Hank" was boinking Tigra. To me, at the time, that seemed out-of-character for Hank. So I'm comforted to know that it wasn't the real Hank. Although we had a poster over on Da' Board, last year, who thought that a womanizing, "asshole Hank" was a great character. I really objected to that.

However...in the previous "Hank gets replaced by a Skrull" story, the real Hank WAS sleeping around with a young British woman. So I'm confused... why absolve Hank of one demerit, but keep the other? Just haphazard characterization and writing. Hank had a very well-handled descent into tragedy, circa 1982. Since then, he's been on the redemption trail. The Hank Pym in "Ultimates" was NOT the Marvel U Hank, and I think most fans (and personnel at Marvel) don't get that.

Comics: Best of the Box!

As I'm winding down E's GI Joe Comic Index and after another trip to the San Diego Comic-Con, I've come up with a new gimmick that should keep me entertained for the next year or so.

I was reading The Onion at lunch today and they ran a local article covering "6 Greatest Graphic Novels of All Time". The usual bullshit was included: "oh, Watchmen, Maus and R. Crumb are so great...yadda yadda... let's suck the respective shlong of these books for the 8 millionth time in creation". Usually I enjoy The Onion's occasional forays into comic books, but this was complete and utter CRAP. Have a fucking original thought.

Sure, I enjoyed Watchmen, but I have weird tastes. I like cheesy/shitty superhero fare by the Big Two. So how would I select MY personal faves from my collection of crap?

Well, it turns out that I've been re-locating all 33 of my longboxes this summer. Just moving them, temporarily, from my upstairs studio to the basement to avoid the summer heat. So why not go through each one and pick the BEST book of each longbox? My favorite, or the one book I would save, if I had to sell that specific box.

When I'm done, hopefully I'll have spotlighted 33 books that I actually ENJOY. Plus, it'll be a good step in possibly clearing out my memory banks and remembering some of the reasons why I read this type of junk.

I'm curious to see what my selections will be. Each "best of the box" pick will have some unique selection criteria, too. For instance, my "Avengers" collection spans two boxes-- with most of the Silver Age classics packed in one box. All 33 boxes are arranged in one gigantic alphabetical order, so there should be some interesting picks. For another instance, I know one "T" box is filed with about 200+ issues of 1950's "Tarzan" comics, plus other assorted non-noteworthy crap. I'm not sure what I'll pick from that box.

Inside-the-parkers

An inside-the-park homerun is usually a rarity in baseball. But this year I've seen TWo of 'em, live.

Back in June, I saw Jeff Baker hit one while I was at the Rockies-Indians game. Just last Friday, I saw another Rockie, Seth Smith, hit one against the Pirates. Very weird, because in all the baseball games I've seen in-person --probably 200 or so, dating back to 1992-- I've never witnessed an inside-the-parker. Now, this season, I've seen two. Closest I had seen was a double with a two-base error, during a Rockies-Pirates game in August 1995.

To add to the peculiarity, tonight I'm watching the Pirates-Astros game and Freddy Sanchez hits an inside-the-parker. Which makes me wonder: who was the last Pirate to hit one of those? I want to say Jason Kendall hit one, circa 2001.

Anything they won't release on DVD?

Last weekend I was trying to condense my large VHS tape bookshelf in my basement. It has my old first-run WWF tapes, GI joe cartoons, Dokken videos and other crap I thought was preserving at some time. In my early 20's, I started a string of "superhero cartoons" where I'd get up at odd hours to record random DC and Marvel TV adaptations.

But now, most of the rap I recorded has been released on DVD. On top of making some vintage stuff available to the masses, it also has the added benefit of killling the bootleg market at comic "conventions". Good. I never bought such crap on the basis that I refuse to pay 30 bucks for 7 low quality episodes of "Aquaman" burned on a PC to some stooge wearing a skin-tight Count Chocula t-shirt.

So I've been throwing away some of my "Superhero Cartoon" tapes, as they've mostly made it to DVD. Stuff like: 1970's Super Friends, 1990's Batman and (soon), the rare The rare Hawkman, Atom and Justice League shorts have helped to clean out my lump of tapes.

It appears DC has done a better job in the DVD rond-up than Marvel has. Although Marvel did release the awesome Spider-Man- The '67 Collection a few years back. I've heard rumors of the old "Marvel Super Heroes" TV shows being released for years, now. Same for "Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends" and even 1994's "Iron Man". I'd expect these will come along within the next five years or so. Unless there's some huge hurdle I'm overlooking (most likely, copyrights and royalties).

But I thought I found something on my VH tapes that would never make the conversion:

Birds of Prey - The Complete Series

Or, "Broads of Prey" as I used to call it (*rimshot*). This turkey was plastered all over bus stop stations and the ariwaves for weeks prior to its release. I was a casual reader of the comic and taped the pilot episode for giggles. I thought someday, when I was drunk enough, that I'd cue up that episode and do a scalding review of it on Some Awesome Website. Dammit...foiled again! Bah!

I guess I'll have to settle for the 1990 "Justice League" live-action movie or the Roger Corman "Fantastic Four" movie. But I'd better transfer them to DVD before the tapes dry up.

Step-off!

Saw this in one of those "have a good day and SMILE" forwarded emails:

Cool idea and it'd be worth spending 50 bucks at Lowe's on some hardware to make it a reality. Just concerned whether or not it's structurally safe. If I hollow out two of my living room steps, will I one day hit the board wrong, then end up with my buns and calves in the basement?

I'll also need to check to see if my mammoth size 13 boats will actually FIT inside a drawer beneath my stairs.

DWS Secret Invasion at San Diego Comic Con!

For the second year in a row, Da' Wrestling Site will be infiltrating the San Diego Comic Con. No booth or anything, but we will be passing out promotional postcards.

If you spot yours truly, feel free to walk up to me and receive your FREE Limited Edition CLAWHOLD, only available at Comic Con 2008! I'll be volunteering to work a three hour shift on Saturday, then attending like a regular schmoe on Sunday.

We're also attending the Padres/Diamondbacks game at PETCO Park on July 28. Same offer applies...but your FREE Clawhold will be somewhat less prestigious.

Blowjobs! They're in the fucking Bible!

TIME magazine has a feature story this week that sounds like something George Carlin could've had fun with. Basically, some preacher (from the Bible belt of Memphis, no less) is saying that it's okay to have sex, lots of sex. No shit. They even cite a specific passage as a call for blowjobs:

From TIME Magazine

Genesis, chapter 2 verse 24, says a man "shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." But how liberally to define cleave? That was the very special Bible query the Rev. Stacy Spencer and his wife Rhonda took up last month with 252 married people at their New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tenn. And the Spencers' answer was ... encouraging. Does frequent sex have a place in marriage? Yep. Oral sex? Read the Song of Solomon 2: 3 for assurance. How about role-playing? One participant expressed a yearning to see her husband dressed as a police officer. The Good Book offers no specifics on that, so Stacy Spencer allowed that it was up to the woman, "as long as you're not lusting after a particular officer. Jesus talked about spiritual adultery, and that could be spiritual adultery. But if it's just a generic cop, go for it."

So no role-playing mentioned in the good book, but I've heard that beastiality is in there, somewhere.

I could hear the late, great George Carlin having some fun with this. Sex and religion seemed to be favorite sources of humor for him. I can visualize him on stage, saying "Howabout those blow-jobs?! Hey, they're in the fucking Bible!"

DC: more "continuity porn" (almost literally)

I've heard the term "continuity porn" attached to DC Comics' efforts of the last four years. With their revered attitude towards 1982's JLA, dusting off old villains, then connecting almost all of their superheroes into a goofy "club".

But today, I was asked if the newest "Titans" series is simply an excuse to display Starfire and her orange goods. Long a favorite subject of monkey-spanking fanboys (and even Ambush Bug, if you remember her swimsuit pic from 1985), she's been conveniently losing her clothes and appearing in suggestive poses over the past few years.

So in that regard: yes, the new "Titans" series IS another excuse for Starfire "fanboy porn" (with clothes). Similar effects are being done with Black Canary, Zatanna, Power Girl and Phantom Lady. The next issue of "Justice League of America" that does NOT feature a gratuitous buns n' fishnets shot of Black Canary will be the first. Zatanna used to be a second-rate female Dr. Strange, but now she appears showing off her gams every chance she gets. Even appearing with a slutty garter belt at times. It's like DC's artists are all 13 year old boys, who can't afford the courage or money to buy "real" porn...so they make this pseudo-porn of "crappy superheroine sexy poses".

But what do you expect from a company whose iconic female character has run around for the past 70 years in a swimsuit with red hooker boots and a weakness for bondage?

It gets worse in the fan atmosphere. Do a Google Image Search of any DC female character and within in the first page of results you'll see something x-rated. Even someone as obscure as Flamebird can be seen getting jizzed or showing off her snatch. Look...we all have the Internets and if we want to see nekkid chicks, there are better ways to do it. Seeing Granny Goodness spanking Supergirl is just sick. Some latenight fantasies should stay tucked into a fanboy's mind.

As bad as this is, we haven't hit rock bottom. Yet. That point will be reached when we find an X-rated image of Amanda Waller. That big, booty-licious black broad with the body that won't quit....mmmmm.....

Crank up the Pumps

It's impossible to go a day without hearing some news-douche complain about "rising costs at the gas pumps". Or how the terrible reality of paying 30 bucks more a month has led...gasp....a family to clip coupons and buy generic milk!!

I'm actually hopeful for the rising gas costs. Simply because I want people off my fucking roads. Can't afford gas? Great... keep your frugal ass at home. You'll not only cut down on harmful emissions and save money, but you'll decrease the area's DoucheBag Quotient for the day.

Less traffic and gridlock will also lead to more effective gas mileage for every vehicle on the road. For example: with 1,000 less minivans and Chevy Tahoes on the road, that grocery delivery truck won't have to sit idling at each intersection and will make his delivery in a timely manner.

About 15 years ago, when I was in college and thought that I had half a brain, I came up with a plan to cut back on metro traffic. Everyday, it would take me up to 75 minutes to drive a measly 15 miles. Forget about getting anywhere on time between 7 to 9am or 4 to 7pm, because it wasn't happening.

Local authorities called for widening of highways and more mass transit... two lame brain plans, because one added more cars on the highway, and the second added more slower, ineffective vehicles (busses) clogging them more frequently. Have you ever had a bus pass you on the left? No, since they're usually backing up traffic in the right lanes.

So my revolutionary plan was to charge every licensed driver $800-1000 more per year, as a "drivers' fee". Sure, stuff like "car insurance" and "vehicle registration" could be considered that, but I wanted an additional fee on top of all of that shit. Like proof of registration, it could be displayed as a shiny dated sticker placed on your license plate. My belief was that some dipshit would want to save 800-1,000 bucks and would refuse to drive for the entire calendar year. One less ding dong on the road is always a good thing.

Now, with gas prices creeping up, it seems that my annual fee has arrived in a different form. Sure, I don't like paying more, but it beats the alternative (staying home all the time, starving, getting no nookie, having no job, etc).

But nobody's taking the cheap way out. I'm seeing more traffic, every single day. It's taking longer to drive those same 15 miles. Nobody's making an effort to avoid these supposedly awful gas prices. Pay 'em, keep going, sit in traffic and WHINE. Nothing short of Lord Humongous and his Wasteland Raiders will keep morons off the road.

So please, stay home if gas prices bother you. Give me 7 bucks a gallon and I'll take it. As long as it keeps SOMEONE at home. Like a wise, hockey-mask, S&M-wearing, freak once said: "just walk away...and this will all be over..."

The problem isn't high gas prices. It's whiny douchebags and morons. Again.

The DNC Supports Deforestation!!

The Democratic National Convention is scheduled to fuck up...errrr.. hit Denver in late August of this year. As part of the city-wide cleanup, they're doing random things like filling potholes, cleansing the bums and other minor touch-ups.

One of these touch-ups was apparently chopping down roughly 50 trees in front of the Pepsi Center, where the event will be held. The Pepsi Center sits on the north side of Auraria Parkway, which has been a major artery into downtown Denver for almost 20 years now. In the middle of Auraria Parkway, for all of that time, has been a traffic island full of trees, strecthing roughly 200 feet. The island itself is about five feet wide and housed these trees well. They had a good effect on the otherwise dismal expanse of asphalt. They didn't make a mess, either.

But as of Monday, March 31, the city has been systematically chopping down all of them and making the traffic island as bare as Kurt Angle's dome. There was no reason for this, at all. Other than the fact that a TV camera crew can no stand on the island and provide a better profile shot of the Pepsi Center. Or maybe they cited "security concerns" and were worried that the EvilDoers of the World (tm George Bush) could hide in these trees and perpetarte Evil Deeds on our witless politicians.

If anything, cutting down these trees will increase traffic problems. The trees were quite dense and for the past 20 years no pedestrians could cross Auraria Parkway and wait in the traffic island. On any given morning it's not unusual to see traffic speeding into town on Auraria, doing about 50 MPH. Auraria separates the Pepsi Center from the 3-layered Auraria Campus (Communitty College of Denver, Metro State and CU-Denver). Now college kids have the opportunity to run across Auraria and fuck-up traffic.

Although I'm a registered Democrat, I'm not a tree-hugger by any means. While they looked nice, cutting down trees isn't what upsets me. What upsets me is that something that wasn't a problem was suddenly cited as such. Worse, the city is funding this worthless project, meaning that it's coming out of taxpayers' pockets.

But hey..the city's expecting to make a few million off of the DNC. Maybe they can use some of those funds to plant some new saplings in the Auraria Parkway traffic island. *Fart*