Boba Fett. Still Sucks.

As a public service for "Star Wars Day" (May the Fourth be with you...get it?! Nyuk! Nyuk!), I need to announce how much Boba Fett sucks, once again.

Worthless guy who looks kinda' neat... but his claim to fame was floating in garbage, then requiring the help of no less than Darth Vader and a buncha' Stormtroopers to catch some guy, along with his girlfriend, his dog, and a gay robot. Not to mention he also needed the help of (and betrayal by) his target's old gambling buddy.

Fittingly, to complete his life of worthless suckitude, Boba Fett was accidentally killed by a blind guy.

Watchmen: Special Lights and Music Edition

After countless reprintings of the "Watchmen" Trade Paperback, it's nice that DC and Warner have teamed up for yet another version; one that's easily viewable on a giant movie screen, has music, and requires no reading!

If you liked the Watchmen comics...errrr, graphic novel, then you'll probably like the movie. If you didn't like it.. well you can probably figure out that version of the equation, Pythagoras.

The final ending was tweaked a bit, but it actually works well and feels more...symmetrical. The comic book's giant alien squid seemed out-of-left field to me. The new cinematic ending ties things together a bit more.

Also, I'm sure a lot of geeks will consciously or subconsciously cream themselves after seeing THE ultimate fanboy fantasy scene: banging a hot chick in your heromobile while she keeps her skin-tight black vinyl boots on. The whole thing only works if she keeps the boots on. It was an okay scene, until it included the stupid "joke" of switching on the flamethrower to simulate a climax. I heard a lot of audible groans in the theater at that point.

The "Watchmen" movie is similar to the Lord of the Rings movies in it's nature. Just as many scenes in those movies were meticulously translated from the Tolkien books, the same effect is in play, here. Even the bruises on Rorschach unmasked face seemed to be identical to their original printed inspirations. So if you ever want to read "Watchmen" again, just save yourself some time and see the movie. Pretty much the same thing, only you'll get some music.

"Youngblood" Set to Sell 8 Movie Tickets

Sad, but true... someone is looking at developing the 1992 pile known as "Youngblood" into a movie. Complete with shoulderpads, catcher's masks, poofy hair and tiny ankles:

Youngblood movie at Variety.com

What cracks me up is how the report calls it "an iconic graphic novel".

And I'll officially lose all hope for you guys if someone comments: "Yes! This will rule!!"

All Hope.

Delete After Posting

Caught the new Coen Brothers flick, "Burn After Reading", last night. First off, this is not a drop-down, pants-pissing, snort-enducing comedy. While it is silly, most of the laughs come from the quirky mannerisms and antics of the characters. Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt are clueless health club workers who completely flub over a blackmail plot based around what they believe is "important shit". George Clooney is a goofy government worker who likes to wear his pants high and run through the city. John Malkovich is a recently laid-off CIA guy, looking for some purpose in his life while constantly dropping f-bombs.

But inside the story is a melancholy look at the middle-aged years of life. How the paranoia, obsession and fear over becoming old can drive someone to act strangely. Even incredibly stupid. That seemed to be the recurring theme and can help you dissect each character's motive throughout the flick.

Sure, there are some hilarious parts-- like when Brad Pitt and McDormand first reach out, via phone, to Malkovich's character-- but if you're looking for a comedy, you might be better off with something like "Pineapple Express".