WWF @ Madison Square Garden - July 12, 1986

I wanted to review this entire card, but time constraints and the weekly WWE Classics OnDemand expiration meant I had to record it while I cut the grass. Still, got to see the gist of the card, including:

Tony Atlas vs. Leaping Lanny Poffo
Face-v-face match and actually not 100% terrible, as Atlas was much more mobile than I expected. Before the match, Lanny delivered a light-hearted poem praising "Mr. USA" and bemoaning his lost luggage. Both guys traded dropkicks to pick up the pace, but Atlas soon settled on the chinlock. Ending was unexpected, as they bounced off opposite turnbuckles, with Atlas leap-frogging and pinning Poffo with a backslide. A bit sloppy and choregraphed on the pinfall, though (you could see Poffo "stumbling" and putting his arms into position for Atlas's backslide).

22-Man $50,000 Battle Royal
Somewhat famous match-- it's the "match where Jimmy Hart hides under the ring and eventually wins". Mostly jobbers and tag-teamers, with Johnny Valiant and Bobby Heenan also donning the trunks. Going off of memory, but I think it included:

1. Big John Studd
   
2. King Kong Bundy
   
3. Bobby Heenan
   
4. "Handsome" Harley Race
   
5. Greg Valentine
   
6. Brutus Beefcake
   
7. Tony Garea
   
8. Lanny Poffo (still sweating from the last match)
   
9. Tony Atlas (same as above)
   
10. Sivi Afi (listed as "Siva Afi")
    
11. Junkyard Dog
    
12. Moondog Spot (listed as "Spot Moondog")
    
13. Moondog Rex (listed as "Rex Moondog")
    
14. Billy Jack Haynes
    
15. King Tonga
    
16. Pedro Morales
    
17. Dynamite Kid
    
18. Davey Boy Smith
    
19. "Luscious" Johnny Valiant
    
20. Jimmy Hart
    
21. "Iron" Mike Sharpe (yarrrrrrgh!)
    
22. S.D. Jones
    

Cool touch as each particpant was introduced by Howard Finkel, complete with their hometowns. Everyone ganged up to dump Studd and Bundy, about 10 seconds into the match. Camera worked sucked, as they missed 90% of the eliminations, instead focusing on Jimmy Hart peeking out from under the ring apron. Best spot had the Bulldogs do-si-do and deliver dropkicks to eliminate the Moondogs.

Final segment boiled down to Haynes, Poffo, Smith, JYD and Tonga taking on Valentine. Valentine casually dumped Haynes, Smith, Poffo and Tonga, leaving only JYD. JYD was thrown through the second rope and discovered Jimmy Hart under the ring. Hart was brought back in to act as cheerleader for Valentine. Had to wonder WHY Hart was in there, since exactly ZERO of his clients were enrolled in this thing! Still, Valentine showed some hold-over loyalty to his old manager and protected him. Both JYD and Valentine tumbled over the ropes, simultaneously, leaving Hart as the victor. Hmm... have to check the records (including Memphis), but this may have been Hart's in-Ring Career Highlight.

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Match went forever (remember: "it takes the Hammer 30 minutes just to get warmed up"), until both guys continued their Mild Battle Royal Feud and fought to a double-countout. Finkel again delivered some good theater as he announced both guys names, slowly, after the match, building suspense until it was deemed a "double countout".

Cage Match: Tito Santana and Bruno Sammartino vs. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis and "Macho Man" Randy Savage
The old chain-link cage and not the "big blue bar" version. Chico and Macho's collective presence was understandable, but I think Adonis/Sammartino was set up by a few "Flower Shop" segments. Rather funny how the #2 and #3 heels in the company (Macho and Adonis) had to sell for Bruno's punches and running knees. Bruno won it by beating the crap out of both guys, then exiting through the door. For good measure, Chico went over the top of the cage, at the same time. Bruno sure seemed to work a LOT of cage matches in 1986 and most were pretty well received by the crowds...so you have to give the old guy credit!

Other matches I didn't watch included:
Pedro Morales pinned "Iron" Mike Sharpe

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs beat the Moondogs

Billy Jack Haynes over Brutus Beefcake by DQ

King Kong Bundy & "The Giant" John Studd beat King Tonga & Sivi Afi

Harley Race pinned Tony Garea

Glad I got to cut the grass, as this card turned out to be over 2 hours of SUCK. I would've liked to catch Tonga/Avi vs. Studd/Bundy since I've become a big Tonga/Haku/MENG fan ever since I got WWE 24/7 and I've always dug Bundy. A few promos for next month's show aired; including Heenan declaring that Andre would be exposed under his "Machine" mask. But overall, this show was rather awful.

Boba Fett. Still Sucks.

As a public service for "Star Wars Day" (May the Fourth be with you...get it?! Nyuk! Nyuk!), I need to announce how much Boba Fett sucks, once again.

Worthless guy who looks kinda' neat... but his claim to fame was floating in garbage, then requiring the help of no less than Darth Vader and a buncha' Stormtroopers to catch some guy, along with his girlfriend, his dog, and a gay robot. Not to mention he also needed the help of (and betrayal by) his target's old gambling buddy.

Fittingly, to complete his life of worthless suckitude, Boba Fett was accidentally killed by a blind guy.

Iron Man: Animated Armored Adventures in Armor that are Adventurous

Ol' Tony Stark has been rebooted and re-labeled a lot, recently. Obviously, the most successful was the 2008 big-screen movie, but we've also had re-boots in the comic books and the 2007 Direct-to-DVD animated release.

So now Nickleodeon has launched "Iron Man: Armored Adventures". Done in the computer-animated style of MTV's ill-fated "Spider-Man" cartoon, it recasts Tony Stark as a 16 year old wiz kid. James Rhodes, Obadiah Stane and Pepper Potts are all along, as well. Following in the tradition of Stupid Marvel Super-Hero Theme Songs, this new show has its own entry.

For a "kids' show", some of the themes are pretty dramatic. Example: in the first episode Howard Stark dies in a weird plane crash and Tony soon has his familiar electrically-powered heart battery.

But it seems more than a little tough to stomach Tony Stark as a 16 year old (recall "Avengers: Timeslide" and the 1995 Kang/Iron Man/Mantis quagmire). Some Marvel heroes can be re-worked as teens, but Iron Man works best as an adult in his 30's (at least). Batman is the same. Besides, it gives something us old codgers can relate to. After all, we're the ones with disposable income who are buying the eventual DVD sets and other junk (although fathers say they're buying it "for their son").

Anyways, "Iron Man: Armored Adventures" runs on ...umm..I think it's Nickolodeon (might be "NickToons") on primetime Friday nights. Episodes are being added to Comcast's "onDemand" feature, as well.