World Baseball Big Bacon Classic

Maybe it's an embedded meme in my brain, but the term "World Baseball Classic" always makes me think of the dearly departed Wendy's Big Bacon Classic Value Meal #4. Man, I miss that thing. $4.59 of pure artery-hardening bliss! They should bring that combo back for the duration of the World Baseball Classic; just slap a WBC logo on the french fry box and I'd have a pants-creaming lunch break.

But I've been checking out a few World Baseball Classic games on the new MLB Network. Just like 3 years ago, it appears that MLB is once again airing their own version of the NFL's Pro Bowl-- a worthless exhibition with no relevance. No offense to the exuberant fans in Puerto Rico, but we don't seem to care about the thing. Especially when Sidney Ponson is leading the charge for a WBC team. Yet I do like the name of "Sharlon Schoop" on the Netherlands team. He plays shortstop, but with that surname he'd be better as a first baseman.


It's also a little peculiar to me how the USA team was seeded in a relatively weak bracket. Perhaps making up for the US's embarrassing belly-flop in the tourney, back in 2006? Without doing much research into the brackets and rosters, the avergae baseball fan could assume, in any tournament, that Puerto Rico, USA, Japan and Cuba would make the finals. So far, that seems to be the course.

While it might be a novelty to see rainbow-colored uniforms and weird exhibition games every 3 years, the WBC has a ways to go before it gains any relevance. If there was a way to take the previous season's four NLCS and ALCS teams into the tourney, that'd be interesting. Scheduling (late October) and/or off-season roster shuffling would make that impossible, though.

But at least the quality of play in the WBC is better than the "Carribean Series". MLB Network aired that thing, last month. After years of thinking it was something special, I tuned in to see dropped pop-flies, misplayed balls and weak at-bats.

Crisis on Earth-Selig!

Bud Selig Might Reinstate Hank Aaron as Home Run King

Look, Hank Aaron is an American icon and all, but resetting the records isn't a good idea or a "fix-all" to MLB's steroid mess. It's like a dead beat, cheating, abusive dad thinking he's clear just because he got an anullment.

The inflated records are-- for better or worse-- baseball's stigma. It has to live with them, as penance for ignoring the problem. While suspicions of steroids have existed since the 80's, Bud Selig was more concerned about fixing that awful problem of a tie in the All-Star Game.

You can't wipe it clean and get a fresh start. You made your bed, now lie in it.

But someone could argue: "well, that devalues the purity of the game and nobody will ever be able to break these records". However, you could also argue that having these tainted records could possibly inspire future players to work harder and do it "the right way". I know... such an outlandish idea.

Besides, let's say you DO set about erasing all steroid homeruns from the record books. Using Bonds as an example, you'd have to go back and wipe out all of his offensive numbers.

Well, what if those numbers actually helped win a game or inflated someone's ERA unfairly? Okay...let's adjust those too.

Well, whattabout standings? I mean, Barry Bonds' homeruns, when mapped out, helped the Giants win an additional 10 games in the 2002 season (total estimate, just for the sake of argument). Well, the Dodgers finished 3.5 games behind the Giants in the Wildcard race, that year. Umm...shouldn't the Dodgers retroactively be cited as the Wildcard winner, now (or eventual NL Champ)?

Whattabout that pitcher whose ERA was unfairly inflated by a McGwire, Palmeiro or Bonds? Hmm, checking stats, he might've won the Cy Young that year. He could call his agent and sue someone for grievances and an unfair working condition. "Due to steroids, my client was unable to attain substantial financial compensation for his efforts".

In short, it could be a statistician's nightmare to simply "erase" any numbers.

Once again, MLB and Bud Selig made this mess. They'll have to live with it. We, as fans, had to live with it..and we can't go back and give ourselves a lobotomy to pretend we didn't follow or cheer for these 'roid clowns. This is reality-- not DC Comics-- you can't simply white-out what you don't like with a "Crisis retcon".

It was (roughly) 20 Years Ago Today...

With the Rockies now in the World Series, I'm kinda' hoping the Indians make it on the AL side. Reason: it's been about 20 years and Cleveland needs a new reason to hate Denver. Rich Karlis and Jeremiah Castille are now likely forgotten by the current generation of Clevelanders.

When the Rockies open at home with Game 3--and if it's against Cleveland-- it's a no-brainer who they should get for the ceremonial opening pitch. Hint: he has a bad haircut, a gimpy knee, used to sell cars, and does commercial for Arena Football.

Oh yeah-- after the Rockies won the NLCS, TBS wrapped things up with their studio crew and signed off. Local news stations cut in, showing the drunken mob that was rambling outside Coors Field. Just a buncha' stupid college kids psuedo gang signs and hollering into the camera. I don't know why any reporter thought it'd be good to interview these tools, but it went like this:

Drunk Tool: "Woooo, Rockies!!! Yeahh...Woooo"
Reporter: "How does this feel to have the Rockies win?!"
Drunk Tool: "yeah... Woooooo! Rockieeeeees! I jush turn 21, man... wooooo!"
(Repeat)

A small mob got up on top of a police cruiser and dented the hood. That's just asking for trouble. But these pussies soon dispersed after the cops yelled at them. Although one kid was yanked off and probably hit some blacktop. No tear gas or Soylent Green Scoops, either. Darnit.

Hippies of 1983 Represent!

Every now and then, I'm reminded of why I was never into baseball until 1990. My geographic location had something to do with it, but alot of the players from the 80's never appealed to me. Mostly because they all looked like old men from a Boston concert (the band, not the city).

Last week, I picked up a cheapie "Ralston-Purina" baseball card set on eBay. It features 33 cards from 1984 (stats & pics from the 1983 season), with a good selection of Hall of Famers: like Eddie Murray, Jim Palmer, George Brett, Ozzie Smith and Steve Carlton. Plus some of the forgotten stars of that era: guys like Dan Quisenberry or Ron Guidry. Sort of like an All-Star Team selection process, they make sure to pick a guy from every team, which explains how Dave Concepcion or Greg Luzinski got included. I figured I could've spent 10-20 bucks to get "real" cards of the Hall of Famers...or the two bucks I spent here, to get all of them plus their forgotten contemporaries.

But check out Eddie Murray, rockin' the bushy fro' and Harley Race mustache:



Here's an example of Bruce Sutter rockin' the "Old guys at a Boston Concert" look.

Mr. Sutter, please schedule an appointment with Mr. Norelco at your earliest convenience.

Now, when I think "Purina", I think of dog food. I had forgotten that they had a line of kiddie cereal back in the 80's. Dog food...and kiddie cereal. Hmmm. The back of each card includes a line that tells kids to look for more cards in boxes of Cookie Crisp or Donkey Kong Cereal. Wow. Another thing I had forgotten about: Donkey Kong Cereal.

Leading the AL West in CPS

After two days at Comic-Con, I went up to Anaheim and saw an Angels game. It was a Sunday night stinker, with the Angels blowing out the Detroit Tigers 13-4. Tigers starter Jeremy Bonderman gave up something like 10 earnies in less than 3 innings. The sun was blasting my seat out in right field, so it wasn't until about the 5th inning that the shadows moved in and I was able to pick up the ball.

I thought it was amusing that the Angels retired numbers are displayed on a bathroom wall in the right field concourse. I figured Bobby Grich would've been one of the retirees, but they had Nolan Ryan, Rod Carew, Gene Autry, Jimmie Reese, Jim Fregosi and Jackie Robinson. I like the local "Ring of Fame" or retired numbers, since they usually honor someone who is virtually unknown to visiting fan. I had never heard of Jimmie Reese until Sunday night. The Angels' official website has this to say about Reese:

During his 23 years, he built a reputation for being the most prolific fungo hitter in baseball.

Well there ya' go.

Angel Stadium also leads the league in the all-important CPS category. That's "Cleavage Per Seat". They've passed Oakland A's spring training games for having the hottest female fans per square foot. A little odd, since it was "Kids' Night" and the place was full of hot broads in their 20's, walking around, showing off the goods. Even during a 13-4 laugher, there's still something to see in Angel Stadium.

The Angels have been doing quite well since Mike Scioscia took over in 2001, but if they ever begin to falter and attendance starts to lag, some savvy marketing would save them. All they have to do is make their traditional nickname more prominent: The Halos. They could market themselves as "HALOs: Baseball Evolved".

Another thing I learned at Comic-Con is that video games are extremely popular. I'll bet that "Halo Guy" is probably more well-known and popular among males 16-30 than "Vladimir Guerrero". The Angels would have to modify their uniforms a bit, but it'd be a huge merchandising cash cow for them.