Twotter

I can never figure out the popularity of some crap. Hell, it's been almost 18 years and I'm still mystified why Kurt Cobain and Nirvana became popular. The latest trend that I can't grasp is Twitter.

Hate Twitter. The Padres/Mariners game had their field correspondent "twittering", last night (it was simulcast through MLB Network). After the game I checked out her twittering feed, since she was kind of a cute broad. But it was completely worthless gibberish, like "8th inning. Did you see that play? Hope to get interview".

A few months ago, the late lamented Rocky Mountain News sent a reporter to Twitter the funeral of a 3 year old boy killed in an accident. Pushed the limits of taste, but in included such insightful crap like: "10:33 am- dirt is thrown onto coffin".

I kinda' hate Twitter because it's dumbing down "journalism" and bringing Internet "sites" down to the lowest common level. Most Twitter feeds have poor spelling, awful grammar (stuff like: "your hot" or "it would of been a good idea") and halfway-formed random thoughts. The basic gimmick is that Twitter doesn't want you to think before posting something. It's the latest way to archive verbal diarrhea on the Internets.

Language Crutches

Just as the 90's had "Don't Go There" and "That's What She Said", we now have two new over-used supposedly witty and trendy cliches, both completely devoid of relevance and humor. I'm talking about:

"Yeah, especially in this economy"

-and-

"I'm That Guy"

Both have a few variant editions floating around. For example, there's "even in this economy" for #1. But the pertinent element is that it always has "in this economy".

#2 has quite a few versions, as well. Like: "I never wanted to be the guy who leaves at 9 and goes home to sleep. But, yeah, I'm now That Guy". Or, "The one who shoots her mouth off, I don't want to be That Girl".

Radio adverts use 'em. Newscasters use 'em. Shitty Bloggers on the Internets use 'em. You could create a running game on how many times you hear similar phrases during the day. First one to 100 wins a Kick to the Groin.

So clean up your vocab and, please, do NOT use these cliched crutches. Cuz' you don't want to be That Guy, especially in this economy.