Slut-o-ween

So I went out to Denver's busiest meat market with some friends for Halloween. It's a country bar out in Aurora, well known for it's Wednesday's Ladies Night. In fact, over the years, several of my "chick friends" have given me dating advice consisting solely of: "go out there on Wednesdays, you'll meet someone".

On Halloween night it resembled a Vegas sex convention. Or at least a convention for fetishes. All of the standard slutty outfits were there: dirty cop, Pocahontas, farmer's daughter, school girl, Wonder Woman, etc (regretfully, I didn't see anybody dressed up as the Baroness. Dammit). Although some broads had passed the Legal Weight Limit for certain costumes. It's a little telling that all of the adult stores around town have been advertising themselves as "your Halloween Headquarters". So Halloween is now a chance for women to slut it up. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

On the male side, I was mildly thrilled that the wretched "Pimp Daddy" costumes have died down. Only saw three of 'em. From about 2001 to 2005, that seemed to be the favorite costume among schmucks in their 20's. The joke's old and wasn't funny to begin with, but it looks like most of the populace has moved past it.

Oh, since this is a wrestling site; I saw one guy dressed up as Macho Man, with the cowboy hat, glasses, tassles and everything. When he walked by, I yelled "snap into a Slim Jim", but he looked at me like I was a mutant. Also saw a guy in a Rey Mysterio mask. But his height ruined it-- he was about 5'9". I like how luchador masks are becoming more abundant and accepted into pop culture. I even saw a guy in an Ultimo Dragon mask in Lodo on Saturday night.

I was going to wear my Chippendale's Dancer costume...but I get tired of wearing my old work clothes and wanted something more whimsical.

Sad State of the Work Force

One of the reasons I rarely carry cash nowadays: I'm out at lunch today and the total is $5.39. So I hand the guy a 20 dollar bill and 40 cents. He's okay with the 20, but he stops and can't figure out the coinage issue. He stammers a little bit and tells me: "wait...is not enough". I tell him that is it. He still can't figure it out.

So I have to count out the quarter, dime and nickel to him. I have to tell him that a quarter is 25, the dime is 10 cents, and that the nickel is 5 cents. Grand total: 40 cents!! He seems boggled by the nickel, since it's larger than the dime, yet worth less.

Basically, they had a full-grown first grader running the register. Unless I'm at a bar and need to tip a hot waitress in cash (or a strip club for that matter), there's no reason not to whip out the plastic and charge everything.

Bill Romanowski: Professional Jackass

Bill Romanowski's football career was usually controversial, but now that he's retired and off the field, he's found his latest calling in life as a Professional Jackass.

I'm not sure WHAT Romanowski does nowadays, but about once a week, he appears on Denver radio, babbling about something. Keyword: "babbling". He'll call in to some radio show and talk about a book he's writing, how he's playing a gay cowboy in some movie, or just about football. People seem to give him a free pass, since he played on the back-to-back Donkey Super Bowl teams.

His football "analysis" is usually something like this: "they... PLAY well. And right now, they're EXECUTING well. Those are two things to being ...a GOOD team". He has those little pauses in his speech, too. It's also not helping that his voice sounds about two steps above a mentally challenged mongoloid. Every Romanowski segment should be introduced as a "Very Special" segment. In other words, if they had a Special Olympics for pill-popping, jaw-breaking and spearing, he'd be a Very Special Winner.

It was (roughly) 20 Years Ago Today...

With the Rockies now in the World Series, I'm kinda' hoping the Indians make it on the AL side. Reason: it's been about 20 years and Cleveland needs a new reason to hate Denver. Rich Karlis and Jeremiah Castille are now likely forgotten by the current generation of Clevelanders.

When the Rockies open at home with Game 3--and if it's against Cleveland-- it's a no-brainer who they should get for the ceremonial opening pitch. Hint: he has a bad haircut, a gimpy knee, used to sell cars, and does commercial for Arena Football.

Oh yeah-- after the Rockies won the NLCS, TBS wrapped things up with their studio crew and signed off. Local news stations cut in, showing the drunken mob that was rambling outside Coors Field. Just a buncha' stupid college kids psuedo gang signs and hollering into the camera. I don't know why any reporter thought it'd be good to interview these tools, but it went like this:

Drunk Tool: "Woooo, Rockies!!! Yeahh...Woooo"
Reporter: "How does this feel to have the Rockies win?!"
Drunk Tool: "yeah... Woooooo! Rockieeeeees! I jush turn 21, man... wooooo!"
(Repeat)

A small mob got up on top of a police cruiser and dented the hood. That's just asking for trouble. But these pussies soon dispersed after the cops yelled at them. Although one kid was yanked off and probably hit some blacktop. No tear gas or Soylent Green Scoops, either. Darnit.

Hippies of 1983 Represent!

Every now and then, I'm reminded of why I was never into baseball until 1990. My geographic location had something to do with it, but alot of the players from the 80's never appealed to me. Mostly because they all looked like old men from a Boston concert (the band, not the city).

Last week, I picked up a cheapie "Ralston-Purina" baseball card set on eBay. It features 33 cards from 1984 (stats & pics from the 1983 season), with a good selection of Hall of Famers: like Eddie Murray, Jim Palmer, George Brett, Ozzie Smith and Steve Carlton. Plus some of the forgotten stars of that era: guys like Dan Quisenberry or Ron Guidry. Sort of like an All-Star Team selection process, they make sure to pick a guy from every team, which explains how Dave Concepcion or Greg Luzinski got included. I figured I could've spent 10-20 bucks to get "real" cards of the Hall of Famers...or the two bucks I spent here, to get all of them plus their forgotten contemporaries.

But check out Eddie Murray, rockin' the bushy fro' and Harley Race mustache:



Here's an example of Bruce Sutter rockin' the "Old guys at a Boston Concert" look.

Mr. Sutter, please schedule an appointment with Mr. Norelco at your earliest convenience.

Now, when I think "Purina", I think of dog food. I had forgotten that they had a line of kiddie cereal back in the 80's. Dog food...and kiddie cereal. Hmmm. The back of each card includes a line that tells kids to look for more cards in boxes of Cookie Crisp or Donkey Kong Cereal. Wow. Another thing I had forgotten about: Donkey Kong Cereal.

Garage Space: $1.60 per year

For the past year I've been saving aluminum beer and pop cans in my garage. Roughly, I'd say that they take up the same space as two trash cans. They've been getting in my way recently, so yesterday I decided to take 'em to the "Recycling Center" at my local grocer.

I thought I could just drop 'em off at the big "Recycling" sign at the back of the store. But nope, I had to haul all my cans into the front door and bug the main clerk. Getting a hysdirectomy would've been easier..and I'm not even female. They weighed the cans and it wasn't quiet at all. Everyone in the store knew that I was there with a gigantic load of empty Diet Coke with Lime and Bud Light cans.

Then the big pay off: $1.60.

After keeping this crap in my garage for a year, hauling it to the store and making an ass of myself, I get a dollar, two quarters and a dime.

Fuck my carbon footprint.

If I want to keep cans anymore, I'll do what I used to do. Fill up one plastic grocery bag and toss it in the back of my truck. When I get to my parking lot downtown, I'll grab the bag and leave it by a trashcan. Some homeless hobo will find it within the hour and appreciate it more than I ever would. So in a roundabout way, panhandlers will be cleaning out my garage.

Would You Say That I Have ... a Plethora?

Checked out the log files on my site today (not DWS, not this blog...but my main site) and I'm starting to get them: the Stupid Denver Broncos Website Referrals.

I shouldn't complain, since I've been #1 on Google for awhile with the term "Denver Broncos 3 Amigos". As expected, around this time of the year I get lots of football referrals. Most are for cheerleaders, though. Those I don't like.

I've had a fun summer away from football and it's getting harder to keep it away. I opened my newspaper this morning and it had a full page picture of Jay Cutler's grill. I enjoyed my quality time watching baseball games and reading comic books this summer. But now it's time to go back. Another season of interviews from overrated douchebags talking about all the "talent" on the team. People in the office are already dropping by my desk to ask ol' "Coach E" what he thinks about Simeon Rice or Travis Henry's 9 children from 9 wives.

I'm sure by Halloween I'll be absorbed in another season of this junk. I'll miss my nights of pondering worthless stuff--- like trying to remember the name of the villain who kept wanting to freeze the world on "General Hospital". Now I'll spend my nights wondering whether or not that third-and-goal play was the best option.

Aww hell... March is only about six months away.