So I'm hanging out at Target the other day... I mean, who doesn't hang out there? Retail stores are typically bare after Xmas, but it appears that all the recalled Chinese crap has made the stores even barer than usual.
I was just there to get some dog food, but I ended up impulse-buying a radio controlled car for 7 bucks and the Heroes DVD set for 19 bucks. The remote controlled car is more fun that it has any right to be....mainly because I have hardwood floors and the thing just hauls buns on those. Growing up, I'd always see remote controlled cars, wind-up cars, and even Stompers on TV and thought they looked awesome. The commercials would always show kids playing with this crap on hardwood floors. I never picked up on that, back then. So I'd harass my folks to buy me some Stompers, then I'd get 'em home, open up and the things would just sink into the floors of my carpetted home, with no traction. This was back in the early 80's, when many homes still had shag carpetting. Try playing with your Stompers on that...they don't move. Hell, even my GI Joe MOBAT would sink into the shag.
Now, over 25 years later, I can finally open up a battery operated toy car and have the thing zip around my house.
I've watched the first few episodes of the Heroes DVD and it's allright, I suppose. People have been recommending the series to me over the past year, simply because I like LOST and comic books. It's not intriguing me, yet...but I've got a long ways to go.
What ticked me off was the first disc in the set. I popped it in and saw three options available to me: episode 1, episode 2 and a "director's cut" of episode 1. Having never seen the show, I figured I should start with the "director's cut" of episode 1...since it should have nifty stuff that fans have been clamoring for, right? But it turned out that it was quite different from the "official" episode 1 and had roughly two additional subplots that had no consequences in future episodes. Basically I filled up my brain with some crap I shouldn't have been paying attention to: like a terrorist subplot (including some guy called "The Engineer" who can emit radiation from his hand) and a prisoner in Moab, Utah. Plus, the "psychic cop guy plot" and the "precog art guy plot" were both significantly different. Only after watching the full second episode, did I realize some stuff didn't line up. So I had to go back and FF through the "official" episode 1. For instance, I realized: "hey, I thought that art guy had hacked off his hand, last episode?!"
I was a little miffed at how you had to have already seen the entire season before buying the "Season One" DVD. That kind of restricts any potential new viewers from purchasing the DVD. *Fart*
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
EPSN Classic late nights!
I stumbled upon ESPN Classic's (late)weeknight schedule the other week. They were running American Gladiators from 1990. The second season of Gladiators that ran in early 1990 with a revamped look. New look to the fields, better production quality and new commentator in Todd Christensen.
Pretty sure this was the start of Christensen's shitty broadcasting career. He criticizes everything, including the way contestants can't properly aim the Big Bazooka that Fires Nerf Darts. Very condescending tone, as it the average joe should know how to fire one of those things. Christensen apparently impressed somebody with his analysis of the Wall, Breakthrough & Conquer and The Eliminator, though. Later in the year, he was hired by the NFL to call regional games. So he took the same path to the NFL booth that his AG predecessor, Joe Theisman, did. Both sucked. Larry Csonka succeeded Christensen in the AG booth, but surprisingly he never made it to the NFL booth. (If he did, it was in very limited exposure). Kind of a shame, because I think a bulldozing Dolphins runningback who dented opponents' helmets would have more credibility than a Gimpy Redskins QB or a Raiders Tight End with Long Curly Hair.
The actual Gladiators show is enjoyable. This season featured Titan, a big powerlifter dude who never appeared again. He kinda' resembled WCW's Ice Train (aka "I.M. Smooth"). They also dumped the goofy "judge" with the executioner's hood from 1989 and went to retired NFL refs wearing standard zebra uniforms. Basically, they re-tooled the show away from the strange "kinda'/sorta' pro wrestling vibe" that it had in the first season.
ESPN's "Cheap Seats" follows American Gladiators, nightly. Hosted by two nerdy guys, it's like a sports version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. On Tuesday night, they goofed on some old IWA wrestling, circa 1981. Fun stuff, as they pondered just what IS the proper definition of a "Mexican Surfboard".
Goofy crap like this is why I loved cable in the 80's and early 90's: quirky late night stuff. Since about 2002, the late night quirky-ness seems to have died down, with the closest thing being old re-runs of "Twilight Zone" on SciFi channel. Glad I found something.
Pretty sure this was the start of Christensen's shitty broadcasting career. He criticizes everything, including the way contestants can't properly aim the Big Bazooka that Fires Nerf Darts. Very condescending tone, as it the average joe should know how to fire one of those things. Christensen apparently impressed somebody with his analysis of the Wall, Breakthrough & Conquer and The Eliminator, though. Later in the year, he was hired by the NFL to call regional games. So he took the same path to the NFL booth that his AG predecessor, Joe Theisman, did. Both sucked. Larry Csonka succeeded Christensen in the AG booth, but surprisingly he never made it to the NFL booth. (If he did, it was in very limited exposure). Kind of a shame, because I think a bulldozing Dolphins runningback who dented opponents' helmets would have more credibility than a Gimpy Redskins QB or a Raiders Tight End with Long Curly Hair.
The actual Gladiators show is enjoyable. This season featured Titan, a big powerlifter dude who never appeared again. He kinda' resembled WCW's Ice Train (aka "I.M. Smooth"). They also dumped the goofy "judge" with the executioner's hood from 1989 and went to retired NFL refs wearing standard zebra uniforms. Basically, they re-tooled the show away from the strange "kinda'/sorta' pro wrestling vibe" that it had in the first season.
ESPN's "Cheap Seats" follows American Gladiators, nightly. Hosted by two nerdy guys, it's like a sports version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. On Tuesday night, they goofed on some old IWA wrestling, circa 1981. Fun stuff, as they pondered just what IS the proper definition of a "Mexican Surfboard".
Goofy crap like this is why I loved cable in the 80's and early 90's: quirky late night stuff. Since about 2002, the late night quirky-ness seems to have died down, with the closest thing being old re-runs of "Twilight Zone" on SciFi channel. Glad I found something.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
TNT - March 14, 1985
Lately I haven't enjoyed the WWE 24/7 episodes of Tuesday Night Titans. But this latest episode contained some decent promos and hype for WrestleMania 2. Most significant, they only did ONE "Lord Alfred Hayes is so darn goofy" joke: a little bit where Vince McMahon kids him about never going higher than the first rope.
The recently arrived Jake "the Snake" Roberts makes his first TNT appearance and turns in a noteworthy performance. He mentions why he doesn't have to shout in his promos (he's confident enough that he doesn't feel the need) and how he relates to snakes ("they don't have or need any friends"). In his in-ring highlight clip, he hits the DDT (to no pop) then tosses Damien out on his opponent. But in the TNT studio, Jake has brought along Lucifer-- Damien's big brother. Neat trivia, since I always thought Lucifer didn't appear until Damien "died" at the hands of Earthquake in 1991. Was this 1986 Lucifer the same snake as the 1991 version? Or did one snake play all three parts? Suckas gots ta' know.
Smokin' Joe Frazier also comes on to promote the Roddy Piper- Mr. T WrestleMania 2 match (Frazier will be in T's corner). Frazier does some ...strange... promo work by messing around with a rubber chicken dressed up like Piper. They cut to the WrestleMania 2 Press Conference, where Piper cuts an awesome promo on Mr. T, citing the way he perms the middle of his mohawk. Lou Duva then comes up to add to the promo. Piper concludes with a semi-rascist bit about "I DO play Sun City". Definitely a contemporary reference, right there. If I remember correctly, Sun City is/was a casino town in South Africa that was strict anti-black. Alot of US performers refused to play there, as a way to protest Apartheid. Steven Van Zandt (Silvio from "The Sopranos") even organized an all-star jam track called "I ain't gonna' play Sun City".
Anyways, TNT ties up with some quality segments with the Funk Brothers, Big John Studd and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. For more trivia, they announce Dino Bravo as a particpant in the WrestleMania 2 Battle Royal (I don't think Bravo was even on the card). There's also a weird video on NFL'er Russ Franics. But darn if Steamboat doesn't seem like the nicest guy in the world. He slips in a lttle foreshadowing, too. Steamer's segment follows Roberts' and Vince asks him if he'd ever bring a dragon to the ring, like Damien or Lucifer. Steamboat energetically mentions that he's "looking for one!" I think the Roberts/Steamboat feud would begin right after WrestleMania 2.
The recently arrived Jake "the Snake" Roberts makes his first TNT appearance and turns in a noteworthy performance. He mentions why he doesn't have to shout in his promos (he's confident enough that he doesn't feel the need) and how he relates to snakes ("they don't have or need any friends"). In his in-ring highlight clip, he hits the DDT (to no pop) then tosses Damien out on his opponent. But in the TNT studio, Jake has brought along Lucifer-- Damien's big brother. Neat trivia, since I always thought Lucifer didn't appear until Damien "died" at the hands of Earthquake in 1991. Was this 1986 Lucifer the same snake as the 1991 version? Or did one snake play all three parts? Suckas gots ta' know.
Smokin' Joe Frazier also comes on to promote the Roddy Piper- Mr. T WrestleMania 2 match (Frazier will be in T's corner). Frazier does some ...strange... promo work by messing around with a rubber chicken dressed up like Piper. They cut to the WrestleMania 2 Press Conference, where Piper cuts an awesome promo on Mr. T, citing the way he perms the middle of his mohawk. Lou Duva then comes up to add to the promo. Piper concludes with a semi-rascist bit about "I DO play Sun City". Definitely a contemporary reference, right there. If I remember correctly, Sun City is/was a casino town in South Africa that was strict anti-black. Alot of US performers refused to play there, as a way to protest Apartheid. Steven Van Zandt (Silvio from "The Sopranos") even organized an all-star jam track called "I ain't gonna' play Sun City".
Anyways, TNT ties up with some quality segments with the Funk Brothers, Big John Studd and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. For more trivia, they announce Dino Bravo as a particpant in the WrestleMania 2 Battle Royal (I don't think Bravo was even on the card). There's also a weird video on NFL'er Russ Franics. But darn if Steamboat doesn't seem like the nicest guy in the world. He slips in a lttle foreshadowing, too. Steamer's segment follows Roberts' and Vince asks him if he'd ever bring a dragon to the ring, like Damien or Lucifer. Steamboat energetically mentions that he's "looking for one!" I think the Roberts/Steamboat feud would begin right after WrestleMania 2.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Slut-o-ween
So I went out to Denver's busiest meat market with some friends for Halloween. It's a country bar out in Aurora, well known for it's Wednesday's Ladies Night. In fact, over the years, several of my "chick friends" have given me dating advice consisting solely of: "go out there on Wednesdays, you'll meet someone".
On Halloween night it resembled a Vegas sex convention. Or at least a convention for fetishes. All of the standard slutty outfits were there: dirty cop, Pocahontas, farmer's daughter, school girl, Wonder Woman, etc (regretfully, I didn't see anybody dressed up as the Baroness. Dammit). Although some broads had passed the Legal Weight Limit for certain costumes. It's a little telling that all of the adult stores around town have been advertising themselves as "your Halloween Headquarters". So Halloween is now a chance for women to slut it up. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.
On the male side, I was mildly thrilled that the wretched "Pimp Daddy" costumes have died down. Only saw three of 'em. From about 2001 to 2005, that seemed to be the favorite costume among schmucks in their 20's. The joke's old and wasn't funny to begin with, but it looks like most of the populace has moved past it.
Oh, since this is a wrestling site; I saw one guy dressed up as Macho Man, with the cowboy hat, glasses, tassles and everything. When he walked by, I yelled "snap into a Slim Jim", but he looked at me like I was a mutant. Also saw a guy in a Rey Mysterio mask. But his height ruined it-- he was about 5'9". I like how luchador masks are becoming more abundant and accepted into pop culture. I even saw a guy in an Ultimo Dragon mask in Lodo on Saturday night.
I was going to wear my Chippendale's Dancer costume...but I get tired of wearing my old work clothes and wanted something more whimsical.
On Halloween night it resembled a Vegas sex convention. Or at least a convention for fetishes. All of the standard slutty outfits were there: dirty cop, Pocahontas, farmer's daughter, school girl, Wonder Woman, etc (regretfully, I didn't see anybody dressed up as the Baroness. Dammit). Although some broads had passed the Legal Weight Limit for certain costumes. It's a little telling that all of the adult stores around town have been advertising themselves as "your Halloween Headquarters". So Halloween is now a chance for women to slut it up. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.
On the male side, I was mildly thrilled that the wretched "Pimp Daddy" costumes have died down. Only saw three of 'em. From about 2001 to 2005, that seemed to be the favorite costume among schmucks in their 20's. The joke's old and wasn't funny to begin with, but it looks like most of the populace has moved past it.
Oh, since this is a wrestling site; I saw one guy dressed up as Macho Man, with the cowboy hat, glasses, tassles and everything. When he walked by, I yelled "snap into a Slim Jim", but he looked at me like I was a mutant. Also saw a guy in a Rey Mysterio mask. But his height ruined it-- he was about 5'9". I like how luchador masks are becoming more abundant and accepted into pop culture. I even saw a guy in an Ultimo Dragon mask in Lodo on Saturday night.
I was going to wear my Chippendale's Dancer costume...but I get tired of wearing my old work clothes and wanted something more whimsical.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Sad State of the Work Force
One of the reasons I rarely carry cash nowadays: I'm out at lunch today and the total is $5.39. So I hand the guy a 20 dollar bill and 40 cents. He's okay with the 20, but he stops and can't figure out the coinage issue. He stammers a little bit and tells me: "wait...is not enough". I tell him that is it. He still can't figure it out.
So I have to count out the quarter, dime and nickel to him. I have to tell him that a quarter is 25, the dime is 10 cents, and that the nickel is 5 cents. Grand total: 40 cents!! He seems boggled by the nickel, since it's larger than the dime, yet worth less.
Basically, they had a full-grown first grader running the register. Unless I'm at a bar and need to tip a hot waitress in cash (or a strip club for that matter), there's no reason not to whip out the plastic and charge everything.
So I have to count out the quarter, dime and nickel to him. I have to tell him that a quarter is 25, the dime is 10 cents, and that the nickel is 5 cents. Grand total: 40 cents!! He seems boggled by the nickel, since it's larger than the dime, yet worth less.
Basically, they had a full-grown first grader running the register. Unless I'm at a bar and need to tip a hot waitress in cash (or a strip club for that matter), there's no reason not to whip out the plastic and charge everything.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Bill Romanowski: Professional Jackass
Bill Romanowski's football career was usually controversial, but now that he's retired and off the field, he's found his latest calling in life as a Professional Jackass.
I'm not sure WHAT Romanowski does nowadays, but about once a week, he appears on Denver radio, babbling about something. Keyword: "babbling". He'll call in to some radio show and talk about a book he's writing, how he's playing a gay cowboy in some movie, or just about football. People seem to give him a free pass, since he played on the back-to-back Donkey Super Bowl teams.
His football "analysis" is usually something like this: "they... PLAY well. And right now, they're EXECUTING well. Those are two things to being ...a GOOD team". He has those little pauses in his speech, too. It's also not helping that his voice sounds about two steps above a mentally challenged mongoloid. Every Romanowski segment should be introduced as a "Very Special" segment. In other words, if they had a Special Olympics for pill-popping, jaw-breaking and spearing, he'd be a Very Special Winner.
I'm not sure WHAT Romanowski does nowadays, but about once a week, he appears on Denver radio, babbling about something. Keyword: "babbling". He'll call in to some radio show and talk about a book he's writing, how he's playing a gay cowboy in some movie, or just about football. People seem to give him a free pass, since he played on the back-to-back Donkey Super Bowl teams.
His football "analysis" is usually something like this: "they... PLAY well. And right now, they're EXECUTING well. Those are two things to being ...a GOOD team". He has those little pauses in his speech, too. It's also not helping that his voice sounds about two steps above a mentally challenged mongoloid. Every Romanowski segment should be introduced as a "Very Special" segment. In other words, if they had a Special Olympics for pill-popping, jaw-breaking and spearing, he'd be a Very Special Winner.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
It was (roughly) 20 Years Ago Today...
With the Rockies now in the World Series, I'm kinda' hoping the Indians make it on the AL side. Reason: it's been about 20 years and Cleveland needs a new reason to hate Denver. Rich Karlis and Jeremiah Castille are now likely forgotten by the current generation of Clevelanders.
When the Rockies open at home with Game 3--and if it's against Cleveland-- it's a no-brainer who they should get for the ceremonial opening pitch. Hint: he has a bad haircut, a gimpy knee, used to sell cars, and does commercial for Arena Football.
Oh yeah-- after the Rockies won the NLCS, TBS wrapped things up with their studio crew and signed off. Local news stations cut in, showing the drunken mob that was rambling outside Coors Field. Just a buncha' stupid college kids psuedo gang signs and hollering into the camera. I don't know why any reporter thought it'd be good to interview these tools, but it went like this:
Drunk Tool: "Woooo, Rockies!!! Yeahh...Woooo"
Reporter: "How does this feel to have the Rockies win?!"
Drunk Tool: "yeah... Woooooo! Rockieeeeees! I jush turn 21, man... wooooo!"
(Repeat)
A small mob got up on top of a police cruiser and dented the hood. That's just asking for trouble. But these pussies soon dispersed after the cops yelled at them. Although one kid was yanked off and probably hit some blacktop. No tear gas or Soylent Green Scoops, either. Darnit.
When the Rockies open at home with Game 3--and if it's against Cleveland-- it's a no-brainer who they should get for the ceremonial opening pitch. Hint: he has a bad haircut, a gimpy knee, used to sell cars, and does commercial for Arena Football.
Oh yeah-- after the Rockies won the NLCS, TBS wrapped things up with their studio crew and signed off. Local news stations cut in, showing the drunken mob that was rambling outside Coors Field. Just a buncha' stupid college kids psuedo gang signs and hollering into the camera. I don't know why any reporter thought it'd be good to interview these tools, but it went like this:
Drunk Tool: "Woooo, Rockies!!! Yeahh...Woooo"
Reporter: "How does this feel to have the Rockies win?!"
Drunk Tool: "yeah... Woooooo! Rockieeeeees! I jush turn 21, man... wooooo!"
(Repeat)
A small mob got up on top of a police cruiser and dented the hood. That's just asking for trouble. But these pussies soon dispersed after the cops yelled at them. Although one kid was yanked off and probably hit some blacktop. No tear gas or Soylent Green Scoops, either. Darnit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)